this post was submitted on 02 Oct 2024
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The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 60 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Guy buying condoms? He's hoping to get some.

Guy buying tampons? He's definitely getting some.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

And probably using condoms or he'd be buying pregnancy tests instead

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Have the republicans banned birth control in your state already?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Single dad erasure!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

He is determined to earn the name "Red Beard".

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Earn your red wings yet?

[–] [email protected] 40 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Stay strong brother, praying for a swift recovery.

/s

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 weeks ago

Instructions unclear, sent horde of Swifties to recovery room.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 weeks ago

Um, the picture clearly indicates that the box was OPEN. He ded

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Nurse, this man neds 50cc's of swagger, stat! And go make me a sandwich, because I'll turn gay if I go into the staff kitchen.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Fuck, he's crashing! Tell respiratory to prepare a cigar smoke nebulizer. Set up a tren drip! Nurse, I ordered that casual misogyny an hour ago, where is it?!

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Nurse, I ordered that casual misogyny an hour ago, ~~where is it~~ did one of you females mess up the order again?!

FTFY

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

I'm so sorry, sir! All I found in the women's cabinet was blatant misogyny, all of the casual emergency/accidental misogynies are a week late because I am ON MY PERIOD!!

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 weeks ago

And now they’ve got him deep throating a fat, girthy, breathing tube?! That is like.. HELLA GAY!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Are guys really worried about manliness when picking up tampons at the store? If anything it'd make a guy look better to me. Picture this: big scruffy sweatpants dude shuffling your way in a tight alley in the early hours of the morning... Then oops! he drops his box of tampons.

He could probably stab me cuz that would drop my guard big time.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

and then use the tampons to avoid leaving blood traces

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

A friend in high school heard me and the girls whispering (one of whom was his girlfriend). When he found out one of us needed a pad or tampons and we were seeing who had some, he got excited for the chance to go to the store to get them for us, because he said that buying tampons is the same as screaming, "I have a woman!!!"

I hope that guy is happy, wherever he is. He was a kind soul.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

I'm mostly worried about which one to grab

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

When interviewed, a Friend of the victim said: dang bro, this beast would usually just smash a 6er of Busch light, blast some rock music and he be back to clam-slammin' in no time flat!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago

The tampon market has been neglecting men for as long as it's been around. When are we going to see "rough and tumble tampons for tough guys" so we can finally get some respect?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

Tnx, the funniest thing I've read in a while

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Those are for girls.