this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2024
336 points (97.5% liked)

Greentext

4406 readers
1370 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 26 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 62 points 2 months ago (3 children)

For anyone reading this who might have anxiety, I had this problem and it just turned out that I really need better support during the day. Boxers weren’t cutting it.

With that said, yes definitely consider seeing a doctor.

[–] [email protected] 63 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Hey everyone, this guy has long balls!

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Ol' Long Balls MacDougall we call him.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

You got long balls Larry. You're Long Balls Larry

Long-Ass Balls

Long-Ball Larry

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Fuck I love curb your enthusiasm

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

His arch nemesis is WideBalls Fredrick

[–] RarePossum 12 points 2 months ago

Is this your professional opinion, Dr. Wesker?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Alternatively, as a form of scrotal elephantiasis, it could be a parasitic infection, swollen lymph nodes from either disease or medical procedures like radiotherapy, or more rarely a hernia that causes the intestines to drop into the scrotum.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

intestines to drop into the scrotum

I was perfectly fine without the knowledge that that can happen.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Getting a hernia there happens to 1 in 3 men.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

What a terrible day to have eyes and a scrotum

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago (2 children)

What are "implication arrows"?

[–] [email protected] 44 points 2 months ago (2 children)

> implying you don't know what an implication arrow is

it's one of these: >

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What do they imply?

I know that these stories are often accused of being fake, but I guess I don't understand the context of the response. It seems like the responder is saying "go to the doctor regardless of whether you actually have a problem requiring a doctor." Which I guess could be good advice in some circumstances, but ... Maybe I'm just taking things too literally.

Thanks for the answer!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

I think it's that people understand that 99% of green text stories are not real, so the reply is just saying yo if this is real, go to a doc.

Maybe I'm wrong tho

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

The anon got it wrong. These are ">" or "greater than" symbols, not arrows, although they look like arrowheads. They are used to signal a quote, which makes the text green on 4chan or inside a quote block on other platforms. In 4chan culture, the resulting greentext is not a quote, it has a meaning of its own.

The actual implication arrow, used in mathematical logic for statements like "if A, then B" or "A implies B", is "⇒" or "rightwards double arrow" in Unicode. Using ASCII characters, it can be written as "=>".

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

It's just how a quote reply works on 4chan but the meaning has expanded.

Edit: as in, instead of quoting the actual comment I reply to, I summarize it as "implying ____"

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Do you swing them to and fro?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Can you tie em in a knot, can you tie em in a bow?

Do you get a funny feeling, when you hang em from the ceiling?

Oh you'll never be a sailor if your balls hang low.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)
[–] cheddar 1 points 2 months ago

How many VW Passats is low?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

I think it's better to check with a vet. He solved my dogs problem with dangling balls.