this post was submitted on 17 Aug 2023
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How do you deal with someone who has had something happen and they keep talking about "God's plan"? I have a friend who is going through some tough times and it looks like they won't be able to achieve what they wanted but keep placing it on God. I think it's a coping mechanism for them but it still is rubbing me wrong. I am trying to stay supportive which basically just entails me keeping my mouth shut.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I've adopted a modified version Star Trek's Prime Directive. I do not act like others should change their world view (even if it is wrong). If no one is being directly harmed and no one's rights are at stake, I live and let live.

Fundamental worldview things have tentacles and a person needs to get "there" on their own. Asking questions (either way) can help, but I don't make them persuasive.

Sounds like they need support and have some important blindspots. What's best for them, subjectively, in this period of time? In the next six months?

They are grieving a lost future (I think), respect the grief.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I'm with this! I'm a live-and-let-live kind of guy. If a person asks me about my opinions about such things, I'll entertain an adult discussion. But I don't want to be the atheist equivalent of a Jehovah's Witness badgering people.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

This is the way to go. You aren't under an obligation to change someone's beliefs. If they reach out to you, be a support and offer help. Be a good example of an atheist by being a good friend.

If you really feel the need to push, something non confrontational like the street epistemology approach might work well.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

If you want to keep the relationship, basically ignore that and suggest things THEY can do themselves to make the situation better. When someone is in deep struggle and stress, they aren't going to be receptive to opening their mind.

Approach that later, and show how their actions and those of the people who care about them made the difference, not the will of an invisible myth.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

You do you, but I'll reach out for the weak, not dispose of them.