this post was submitted on 15 Aug 2024
234 points (99.2% liked)

The Onion

4408 readers
134 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
all 12 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 38 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Sometimes I forget I can go buy one of these delicacies at the store and people will think they're for my imaginary children.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I rented a bunch of cute animals for my upcoming birthday (small pigs, goats, rabbits, etc.)

I'm like 99% certain the people think it's for a children's birthday party...

...but it isn't, I'm in my 40s and it's going to be awesome.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Happy early birthday! I hope it's a blast.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

there was a recall a while back for those. one store here just closed out an entire freezer section of stock that was older (not affected) by it.. i guess no one was buying it at the time because of the news reports.

50c a bag. i filled my (too small of a) freezer. only half a bag left.

no shame. no regrets.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

The cashier can't even notice your nervous sweat when you're making your illegitimate purchase if it's a robot!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

Truely a delicacy.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

After they were big meme for a bit I got a box at the warehouse club, turns out they still slap and that box lasts forever.

I now always have a box in my freezer at all times. 36m no shame in my Dino game.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

They're not as good as Banquet nugs

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

But are they Dino shaped? CHECKM8 LIBRUL

(Really though I just don't do freezer stuff anymore and its my little guilty pleasure, I'm sure there are better frozen nugs but 🤷‍♂️)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

seriously though, this kind of thing is basically what i've turned my diet into and it's fucking brilliant, find foods that you actively desire to eat and which are reasonably healthy and cheap.

Dogs are ecstatic about eating dry kibble every day, let yourself experience the same simple joy.