-
Meet woman, don't be weird.
-
Gradually build a loving, trusting relationship.
-
She has to get surgery and she'll be bed-bound while she recovers.
-
"Will you take care of me, Anon?"
-
Lord of the Rings marathon. The director's cuts. She can't run.
this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2024
791 points (96.3% liked)
Greentext
4469 readers
1292 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
The long setup. "Babe, you agreed to stay in sickness and in health. This is my sickness."
Narrator: But she didn't stay.
She died during the Battle of Helm's Deep
But inside she was already dead
Just do old school style and read her the Silmarillion.
Make sure to get the annotated version.
Return of the King was the first and only movie I've seen that had an intermission. Keep in mind this was only the theatrical version!
load more comments
(3 replies)
Anon needs Jellyfin.
I prefer NGINX with autoindex. Lightweight, no JavaScript, looks like every Linux ISO mirror, filenames already have all the required info, can be quickly searched with CTRL+F, fits perfectly to my laziness.
If you want some improvement, you can use FancyIndex module.
But the files need to be in codecs supported by your browser(s). I prefer AV1+Opus in WebM container which have been supported by Firefox for a while. At this point it's really only Safari not fully supporting AV1 because it relies on hardware decoding and Apple wants you to buy new hardware.
Sorry, your favorite media server is just files you play on a browser?
I mean, not shaming, I just had never heard of that being preferable to Plex/Emby/Jellyfin.
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(6 replies)
Amateur. You set this up ahead of time.
When you're torrenting and you're planning to watch with someone else, you decide what you're watching at least eight hours in advance, preferably a day. Radarr can't find stuff instantaneously, assuming the automated search finds it at all, and torrents can take hours to finish, plus leaving time to resolve technical mishaps with your *arr stack, like the VPN being dead. If you and the person you wanna watch with aren't going to be in the same room, you'll have to set aside even longer in order to transcode it into a format a browser can play at a bitrate that's low enough to stream, and load it into your HTTP server so that Cytube can play it. Ideally you'd block out some time to test and troubleshoot Cytube too.
load more comments
(7 replies)
Yeah my ex wife initially made fun of my server with my Plex media on it...
Guess what she wanted after our divorce? That's right Plex.
If she scoffs at your media setup she's wrong for you.
My ex told me she never ever wanted to talk to me ever again, ever!
Next week she texted me asking access my plex server.
torrent ahead of time?
anon is a dumbfuck.
You can also press one button to configure a torrent to download first and last, allowing you to play a video while it streams in.
Anon can’t even torrent right, she just got scared that he’d be too stupid to put on the condom right.
Mate, don't be weird. Torrent the movie you wanna watch before your girl gets there. Put it in your plex library and boot up Plex on your xbox. Easy peasy. You don't have to be weird about it.
If she's not excited to see the download bar move, she's not getting invited back.
This is why you have a server running jellyfin qbittorent, Jackett, sonarr, radarr, all behind a good VPN.
Anon is obviously a noob and deserves the walkout.
load more comments
(16 replies)
What's with the "ooga booga woman scared by tech" meme? Like, people have been torrenting for ages, it's not like it's underground.
And just have it downloaded? "Hey, wanna come over and watch ____? Yes? Cool, see you then." Then start the download. If it's popular, you'll have the file in, like, 10 minutes. And if she's that "confused" by an hdmi cable (which is an extremely common cable these days, but whatever), put it on a flash drive and plug that in. And if someone is interested, I can't imagine setting something up would make them leave? "Oh gosh, he had a laptop and a... A cable, you say? Well golly gee, I should run away from this fringe tech afficionado because who does that???"
I don't know why some guys act like tech just washed over women. We were there sailing the same high seas as the rest of ya'll.
"What do you mean the movie will come from the laptop?" Boy, bye
I like your comment because it tells me why I didn't found this that much funny.
load more comments
(3 replies)
I'm choosing to interpret it as her getting skeeved out over anon not having their shit together.
>not downloading the movie in advance
>not knowing about the "download in sequential order" option on the client that lets you start watching quickly
load more comments
(2 replies)
Tech literacy has peaked hard with millenials.
load more comments
(3 replies)
It's Usenet babe. Get this... it's been around since 1980! Isn't that wild, babe? It just goes to show, if a distribution system isn't broke, don't fix it.
Hahah I was gonna come mention Usenet but glad you already did.
A month ago I was frustrated waiting on some torrent and decided to finally give Usenet a try. All I gotta say is - why didn't I do this switch years ago???
Because they usually cost money
Yearly rates for a provider and 2 indexers still doesn't come close to the cost of all the streaming subscriptions you'd need to have the same library access. Coupled with the ability to use RSS feeds and other homelab services to essentially automate your collection, it's just absolutely worth every penny.
But I wouldn't know firsthand, because I'm a law abiding citizen, and this is all hypothetical. I just read about it on the internet somewhere.
load more comments
(7 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(12 replies)
My family has learned not to ask questions, just tell me the name of the movie or TV show in signal, and Ill let you know when its on plex.
I know they dont understand. I see their glassy eyes staring past me if the compel me to explain. 'But who puts it there, and what motivates them?' they ask. They do not see the irrationally of their line of inquiry.
But they have learned now. No questions, no complaints, just leave me a muffin when I've done a good job.
Look, there are enough women in the world for you to stop thirsting after someone who's just not right for you
If you're geeky you need a girlfriend that at least vibes with that even if she's not into it herself for fucks sake
Girl is super geeky, she's just mad at him for running his laptop on the TV instead of using Plex to watch torrents from his xbox like a normal person.
load more comments
(5 replies)
Once I was with a girl and taking too long to get a torrent going so she whips out her phone and does it herself. Safe enough to say that we are together now.
load more comments
(6 replies)
Mostly what i see is a lack of preparedness. If i had a date over the movie would be downloaded and the TV plugged in a week in advance.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Yarr matey, we be sailin the high seas alone this fine evenin.
That was a close save! I wouldn’t fuck a blind consumer with your dick…
load more comments
(1 replies)
If she doesn't know what a hdmi cable is I'm boiling her into a stew.
Torrent. Phht. Who got the time for that. Sonarr/Radarr/emby(or whichever u prefer) Enter title, wait a minute (unless u r on slow net or prefer 4k remux) and watch. Enter Series-name,go to bed. Enjoy 12 full seasons tomorrow.
Totally hasslefree, no stupid trackers or missing seeder or waiting-time. Movie was posted 10yrs ago? No problem. Still there, still fullspeed. Device not certified for netfucks or rooted? Who cares?
And when your lady asks "why can we watch this, this is not on Netflix" you can reply "what is netflix? I'm a pro"
load more comments
(22 replies)
Switch to streaming and use ad blockers. It will be 720/ 1080p max, though. Most people won't notice. There's a guide/ wiki on a specific lemmy community.
Also, be honest. Your partner might be tech savvy and not be able to afford entertainment as well. Go for it. That's how I found my partner.
Not able to afford?
If there was a reasonably-priced ad-free service you could pay for to get complete shows, many would do it.
But this is a joke: https://www.pokemon.com/us/animation/where-to-watch-pokemon-episodes-movies
load more comments
(3 replies)
view more: next ›