this post was submitted on 26 Jul 2024
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And Finally...

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Doctors in India recently carried out an unusual surgery to remove a 40cm bottle gourd from a farmer’s rectum.

According to India TV, the patient arrived at Chhatarpur District Hospital in Madhya Pradesh from Khajuraho on Saturday (20 July).

The 60-year-old was in critical condition, suffering from intense stomach pain.

An X-ray revealed the entire bottle gourd lodged inside the farmer’s rectum, causing significant internal damage

...

One of the surgeons involved in the operation revealed that the patient declined to disclose how the gourd came to be lodged in his rectum.

Doctors suspect that a mental health issue might be behind this bizarre incident, though they haven’t ruled out the possibility of an accident.

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[–] [email protected] 36 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Wanted to have an explosive orgasm, didn’t have a partner

“Doctors suspect that a mental health issue might be behind this bizarre incident”

Mfw

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Might be safer than admitting you're a man who likes stuff up their butt depending on where you live

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

So where was the squash exactly?

India … butt?

[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

"So I was farming in the nude and slipped in the gourd field and..."

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago

One in a million shot, doc

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I'm not a doctor, but this sounds like something a doctor might consider sus.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

do not kink shame. everyone can have its own fetish

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

I don't think he's shaming, but rather pointing out that the story in their case would seem fishy

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It's worked every time for a friend of mine. He is banned from the allotment but still likes to hoover nude.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Cool.
Well, if you and I ever become friends, will you promise to give me a head's up before introducing us?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

Will do, it's better done before you shake hands.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

According to India TV, the patient arrived at Chhatarpur District Hospital in Madhya Pradesh from Khajuraho on Saturday (20 July).

it should be noted that khajuraho is famous for temples enshrouded in thousands of carvings of people in various erotic poses. these were contemporary to the famed kama sutra.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago

No flared base, not approved.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago

The only thing worse than going to hospital with something stuck up your butt is having it become planetary news.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Why did they pose with it mid-surgery 🤣🤣

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

That's the dirty secret of medicine - they dick about when no-one is looking.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I think somebody sucked by dick when I went in for surgery. I woke up with a spot on my dock and it looks like a little burst blood vessel, the kind that would happen with suction.

The surgery was not on or around my dick.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Well that is quite something.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

It’s fucking horrifying

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago

That's why I don't swallow watermelon seeds

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

In gourd we thrust

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

It really is amazing how much better an actual sex toy is than an improvised one. Blew my mind when I got my first one

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

Gourd damn that's a big boy!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I just slipped and fell onto it. It was an accident, I swear!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

It's a big fat phallus shaped object. Unfortunately it does not have a flared base that would prevent it slipping away.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

Hahaha good pun

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

A select few would pay astronomical prices for that specific gourd.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I understand your doubts. I meant that a select few would be both willing and able to pay astronomical amounts of money for a “famous” gourd that had been stuck in someone’s ass.

Many would want a similar gourd, fewer would want a used one, fewer still could pay “auction” price for this particular gourd.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Sounds like a press release from Big Gourd.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

He misheard bottle gourd as butthole gourd, duh. Common mistake, he'll be okay.

😂🤣

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Sounds like the voice of experience there.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I mean, it happens to all of us once or twice.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

They who is without a distorted sphincter may throw the first stone.