this post was submitted on 13 Aug 2023
559 points (97.3% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26305 readers
16 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

After reading the list, a dog groomer beats a barber. Plus I can snap/bite?

all 36 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 45 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I bite all my hair dressers.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I pee on mine to assert dominance.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Some of them might like that (̆̈ ̆̈̆̈͡°̆̈ ̆̈̆̈͜ʖ̆̈ ̆̈̆̈͡°̆̈)̆̈

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Only way to get a good haircut really

[–] [email protected] 45 points 1 year ago (2 children)

11: Your hairdresser is unlikely to be bitten by ticks or fleas that are hidden in your hair.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

You don’t know me!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Yeah, but human groomers have to deal with lice. So much worse.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago

The likelihood of you pooping on the hairdresser is pretty slim.

... but never zero.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My groomer spends like 4 hours on my dog. She definitely under charges, because 4 hours with my hairdresser would cost thrice as much.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Thinking of it that way makes me feel a little better about how much I pay to groom my dogs. I spend about $50 for my own haircut and it takes about half an hour. My dog takes about 4 hours to groom and I do not pay $200 for it (little closer to that number than I would prefer, but that groomer is worth her weight in gold dealing with my big fluff balls).

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah my groomer is amazing. My dog is more than a handful, and he adores her. She does such a good job and takes so much time dealing with him.

Sadly we’re moving soon so we’ll no longer be able to go to her. Been working on getting him accustomed to me doing stuff, and he’s gotten so much better over the years.

He’s a rescue and he absolutely refused to even let anyone touch him behind his shoulders when we got him. Now I can even massage his back feet.

Couple of weeks ago I managed to clip all his nails by myself for the first time. Absolutely magical. 😭

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Aw, it's too bad your dog can't keep the same groomer. Mine are in love with theirs as well.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago

I think they should've added in brackets with the second point saying "hopefully"

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Number 1 is why I cut my own hair now.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Did you shit on your hairdresser???

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

You... don't???

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Oh like you never have.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

I try but I always miss a few hairs.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I knew a person that had a Samoyed for which a simple bath was a two person, 4 hour endeavour, from start to finish, not including the initial chase and wrestle to get the dog in the bathtub.

The person had the groomers go to their house, where he had the bathtub already setup in the garage and all necessary towels and other assorted equipment.

The part of actually gettting the dog in the bathtub involved three person, with the dog's guardian starting to chase the dog around the property from early in the morning, as the dog would do his best to hide, run and stay out of reach of human hands when the bathtub was set on the garage.

The grooming session would be anything between €80 to €100, in 2008, and still the person thought it was cheap.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

For all the work invested yeah that sounds cheap...

Although I wonder if there had been a better way to deal with this so the dog isn't so against it, afraid of it or whatever the issue was....

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

The dog loved his bath but also loved to get everybody pissed off. It was a very stupid game of catch the dog played.

For the time, it wasn't cheap.

In 2008, here, the minimum wage was €426, so about €2,42 an hour. So €100 for 4 hours of work was a very good pay.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Regarding the last one: You speak for yourself.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Slim, but not zero!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Why is the numbering backwards?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Because it is a top ten. The top most point is usually the punch line/most important. Hence you put it at the end to build Suspence.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm doing it all wrong--I need to start seeing a pet groomer.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I plan on making the joke next time I’m in, see how it lands.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I paid $600 to have my dog’s teeth deep-cleaned and definitely had a similar though to this lol

Vets and groomers are wonderful

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Same here. I have a female bichon frise and I had no idea the teeth near the mustache tend to go bad along with the hip joints.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

My dog is going to need this before too long and our estimate was more in the range of $1,000 (large dog, needs more anesthesia, costs more). Not looking forward to it!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

The wife is a dog groomer.... ohhhhh boy the horror stories and pictures I get on the fucking DAILY.

BRUSH. YOUR. FUCKING. DOGS. OCCASIONALLY.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Kinda makes a fella wonder, I'm not asking any questions.

[–] [email protected] -5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I will never understand why people economically disadvantage themselves by spending so much money on a freaking dog. Imagine not progressing in life because you had to spend $2000+/yr on dog grooming... Fucking insanity, I swear.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Progressing to where? Wherever you are in life? Hard pass.