Asklemmy

Give him a very basic and cheap toolkit you know he already has. Firstly, he already has those tools and secondly he assumes you doubt his ability due to the cheapness of the tools. Like giving a Michelin chef a dollar store copper knife, they'd assume you think they can't cook.

Something like a 2 pack of a Phillips and flathead screwdriver. So common even non DIY people always have them, and so cheap that they are useless.

Kind of hard to explain but hopefully that gets the pount across.

I recommend ghosting.

If he asks you about it, re-ghost him (oh I forgot? Anyways...).

A “World’s Okayest Dad” mug.

Alternatively, a certificate for a free vasectomy.

I didn't think Father's Day gifts were that much of a standard thing. Most I've ever done is a text and maybe taking him to dinner or golfing.

So a "happy father's day" card if you need to get something

"World's Best Dad" mug with the word "Best" crossed out?

The most boring father's day greeting card you can find and a fiver.

Edit: actually, don't spend the money on him, send him an electronic greeting card, equally boring, and donate, in his name, to a charity he'd hate.

Football merch in his least favorite team.

Something nice, that he likes.

Anything else and you are definitely not trying to keep the drama at bay.

Socks 💯💯

A fathers day card from the dollar store. Include a gift card from the same dollar store. Put no money on the gift card.

The same tie you gave him last year.

Put some bedbugs and fleas in his house.