this post was submitted on 19 May 2024
102 points (97.2% liked)

Men’s Mental Health

573 readers
1 users here now

I’m admittedly new to running a community anywhere online, but saw a need so I’m trying to fill it and help where I can. I’ve had plenty of my own issues over the years and am hoping for a safe space where men can discuss their own brands of issues. For now we’re gonna run by the Bartender Rule & few other rules stolen shamelessly from [email protected] :

Together, we make this community great. Thank you for being here. Please actively participate in the discussions. Please show respect and empathy when replying to posts.

The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

Rules

1-Posts promoting paid products and services of any kind are not allowed here.

2-All our content must be helpful and appropriate. Do not put vulnerable people at risk and mind the way you approach when need be.

3-Do not DM any of our members unless they specifically request it. Likewise, if a person from here disturbs you, you are encouraged to report them to us(with evidence) and block them. They will be banned instantly.

4-Posts about suicide and/or dying are not allowed here. Your content may trigger others & put them at risk, and we do NOT want that to happen.

5-Don’t be a dick

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

At Bella’s Hacienda Ranch, a brothel on the outskirts of the rural Nevada truckstop town of Wells, a half-priced special for adult male virgins this May has gone off with a bang.

What may seem like a publicity stunt has compassion behind it. May is Mental Health Awareness Month in the US, and the brothel’s 74-year-old namesake owner and operator, Madam Bella Cummins, wants to raise awareness of what she describes as a “virginity epidemic”. She blames digital platforms supplanting young people’s in-person, “IRL” experiences, leading to stunted social development. Brothels, she argues, offer a safe space to work through resulting feelings of anxiety, shame and isolation.

...

There is evidence that adult virginity and sexual inexperience are on the rise in the US, Canada and other western countries, according to Marie-Aude Boislard, director of the Canada Research Chair in developmental sexology. Approximately 15% of individuals born in the 1990s are virgins in their early 20s, the highest rate of sexual inactivity since 1985. Many report “difficult emotions” and interpersonal struggles due to social stigma, the dearth of visibility of sexual inexperience in adulthood and a lack of intimacy.

top 19 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 43 points 5 months ago (2 children)

That's actually kinda cool.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 5 months ago

Addressing misogyny and associated incel mindsets pays for itself and then some in civil society.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago

There's an australian show from a decade or two ago called "Satisfaction" set around a legal brothel that I'm pretty sure tackled this sort of thing (ans a whole host of others) at least once.

As someone raised in a wildly conservative household I found it very eye-opening in my 20's\30's. It put what would probably been considered a very human slant on the whole sex worker industry at the time. Not sure how it holds up nowadays, though.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

As a tween and young teen I was fascinated by psychology and "sexual dysfunction" (textbook term at the time). I wrote one of my science final reports (our finals were original reports, not tests) on common sexual dysfunctions amongst American women. My mom was supportive until she saw I was watching a documentary on sexual surrogate therapy that was basically exactly the same thing as described in this article. Even at 14 I could see the benefits of being treated by a trained sexual therapist. Ultimately I went into tech so I wouldn't starve. I did alright but the idea professional sexual therapy always stuck with me. I hope someday it becomes widely available, especially given the current changes that have come with modern human interaction.

EDIT: I think it was this documentary. It's been a while.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt9019530

[–] [email protected] 29 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I think this says more about our lack of adequate affordable mental health care and third spaces. You shouldn't have to turn to a brothel for healing

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

And the "therapists" likely need therapy after all the physical and mental/emotional baggage from their line of work.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Wasn't sure if I should share this or not, but I wrestled with it in my head for like five minutes and here we are.

My buddy has been in so many lopsided relationships. Like dating moms who are still married and he's just the side piece. Or dating a foreign girl who visits him in the US, but refuses to leave her marriage in Spain.

We went on vacation together. My wife, kids, and my buddy. And after a lot of consideration, explored the red light district and fooled around with the sex workers.

I don't know what happened fully. But after our trip, he had this fire in his eyes.. He shared how he opened up the workers and how my wife & I's normal vacation squabble made him realize his prior relationships weren't healthy. And he's committing himself to finding a real relationship.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago

I suppose the moral of the story is that there are many paths to enlightenment and, if it works for someone (and no-one else is harmed by it) then that's the important thing.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

A little nominative determinism there

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago

Her husband and business partner is Lance Cummins. It seems too good to be true.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago (3 children)

How can they prove someone is a virgin?

[–] [email protected] 45 points 5 months ago

From the article:

To receive the discount, men must provide a letter from a mental health professional acknowledging their claim, which Cummins hopes encourages some adult virgins to seek therapy when they otherwise wouldn’t.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

You can always tell

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

The first visit? They probably can’t and it’s just the cost of doing business plus a bit of advertisement and societal good will.

The second visit it would be obvious, though.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

sexual surrogacy is a type of therapy!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I first read it as "Move like therapists" and was so confused.