this post was submitted on 17 May 2024
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Food Crimes - Offenses against nutrition

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Welcome to Food Crimes! This community is here to collect all and any post about cursed food and generally unusual consumables.

Right now, here’s the rules:

  1. Posts must include an image or video containing food or drink.
  2. It must be unusual or cursed in some way. a. For example, something like Doritos Milk would be unusual, but normal milk would not.
  3. No AI posts whatsoever, and any images that were altered (Ex: Photoshop, Gimp) need to be tagged.

How to tag: To tag your posts, please prepend or append the tag name inside square brackets. For example,[OC] Foo bar baz or foo bar baz [Meta] would be acceptable. Multiple tags will require separate pairs of brackets, like so: [Edited][OC] foo bar baz

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I have a weird kind of ~~boner~~ mouth drool for this right now...

Please tell me the oysters are smoked and almost as salty as anchovies!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I found this on Facebook, didn’t eat it personally.

But according to the description, it mostly just looked revolting but was apparently fairly decent.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I was about to get really upset with you, then read the magazine name, so fair enough I guess.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Funny, you're the second person here to say that.

Do people just forgot what communities they're subscribed to or did I end up in the main feed somehow?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I'm just gobbling up all and sometimes I don't read which community I'm in.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Understandable. Honestly, it has definitely happened to me before, so no worries there.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

It won't happen with that "pizza" though. That thing looks like it had been gobbled up before.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

Yep. That's why I posted it here and not in some foodporn group.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I browse by All, so I get to see a bit of everything.

Also, as a half Cajun, that doesn't sound horrible.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Probably just needs the right seasoning to make it on your plate then.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I mean, at first glance it looks and sounds revolting, but when you think about it, that combination should work fairly well. Although surf and turf usually involves steak, not ground beef.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

I agree that presentation is probably at least half the reason I posted this here, but it honestly also looks a little too dense to be enjoyable. I can't imagine any of the ingredients being able to properly develop their flavor in this setting, especially not when smothered in this much cheese. If the oysters are smoked, as they usually are when they come from a can, they'll have a very strong earthy flavor that would need something to lighten it up, but adding ground beef would likely just weight it down. Can't even imagine being able to taste the crab at all in that scenario.

It basically looks like a casserole on a crust, and not a good one at that.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

I was going to get mad, but then read the community name. That IS a fucking crime.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I don't understand why add the beef...

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

Surf and turf perhaps? I honestly never had that but I do realize that's a thing, although it usually involves steak, not the kinds of beef you'd usually find on a pizza.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Pizza with mushrooms, green peppers, beef, crab meat, and oysters from the can

looking at image And cheese, right?

...

...and cheese, right?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

Yes, lots and lots of cheese.

Unfortunately it appears to be cheddar which probably doesn't do much do improve the dish except mask some of the oyster funk.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

As opposed to oysters from the plains?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Have you ever heard of fresh oysters?

Yes they're pricey and may be somewhat difficult to find depending on where you live, but they taste VASTLY better than the canned ones, probably because the latter are usually smoked and packed in oil to preserve their shelf life. I have seen fresh oysters sold shelled and packed in brine in a plastic tub, but I think they don't really keep fresh for all that long.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Haha, my bad. My brain autocorrected oysters from the sea and I just commented.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Pepperoni and green peppers, mushrooms, olive, chives

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Now that I could see working. Perhaps with some feta and a Sauvignon Blanc?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Using the pizza as a plate

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

At that point, you might as well just get one of the grocery store brand pizzas, hit yourself in the head with it, and go live in the woods instead of eating this thing. You'll end up much happier

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

That seems a tad excessive but you do you.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

While it looks crappy, I don't see any reason that particular combination wouldn't work