Same situation for me, I'm new and I went on a sub spree. I think the system is buckling under the massive influx of Reddit refugees.
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It seems like federation is spotty for at least the bigger instances. I run my own private instance in addition to having accounts on several, and all of my subscriptions on my instance to Beehaw, lemmy.ml, and lemmy.world are stuck in pending, but they're acknowledged from other instances.
I also posted a reply here from my personal instance about fifteen minutes ago and it hasn't made its way over here, and as far as I can tell I'm properly federated with Beehaw. Also not seeing your comment on my instance, although it looks like it came over from sopuli pretty quickly.
Curiously I see 3 comments on this post and only 2 are showing up :-/
I'm seeing the same (well, four now and will be five shortly, n+1 comments from what's visible). I've seen some scuttle in other places about the backend DB silently failing to process some activityhub messages. It's not really a surprise that a hockeystick growth cycle has bubbled up some scaling issues.
I guess that would make the sense. I wonder why it's just this one instance I'm seeing issues with though 🤷♂️