That sucks, bud. Unfortunately literally the only thing to do is let it alone and move on with your life. If they get back in touch later, great, but otherwise they're now just some people you used to know.
this post was submitted on 07 Apr 2024
65 points (94.5% liked)
Mental Health
3757 readers
1 users here now
Welcome!
This is a safe place to discuss, vent, support, and share information about mental health, illness, and wellness.
Thank you for being here. We appreciate who you are today. Please show respect and empathy when making or replying to posts.
The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:
Rules
1-Posts promoting paid products and services of any kind are not allowed here.
2-All posts and comments must be helpful and supportive. Do not put vulnerable people at risk.
3-Do not DM or ask to speak privately to any of our members unless they specifically request it.
If a person from this community disturbs you in a comment, please report the comment. If you receive a DM you did not request, send a screenshot of the DM in a message to a moderator. This is a bannable offense.
4-Suicide, Self-Harm, Death-- Extended discussions are STRONGLY DISCOURAGED here. First, mods and community members are caring people, but not experts in crisis situations. Second, we want to avoid Lemmy becoming like many commercial social media platforms, where comments can snowball into counterproductive talk.
If you or someone you know needs more help than can be found here, please refer to the pinned resources.
If BRIEF mention of these topics is an important part of your post, please flag your post as NSFW and include a (trigger warning: suicide, self-harm, death, etc.)in the title so that other readers who may feel triggered can avoid it. Please also include a trigger warning on all comments mentioning these topics in a post that was not already tagged as such.
Partner Communities
- Therapy
Neurodegenerative Disease Support
Friends and Family of People with Addiction
To partner with our community and be included here, you are free to message the current moderators or comment on our pinned post.
Community Moderation
Some moderators are mental health professionals and some are not. All are carefully selected by the moderation team and will be actively monitoring posts and comments. If you are interested in joining the team, you can send a message to ZenGrammy for more information.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
People are people, meaning everybody has their own thoughts and feelings. If you love them you'll respect them and give them space. You don't have to understand, you don't have to like it, and you can even be frustrated or angry. You can also continue to love them and miss what you had, and you can even reach out to them periodically and gently probe to see if they are ready to talk more about your differences and if they are open to mending the rift. But for now, give them space. Think of it like a trip where you are far apart and can't see each other and you are living your life as best you can. Think about yourself and the people who are willing to stand by you and enjoy who you are now. Be open to new friendships and new experiences, and look ahead.
There's not much you can do to change the decisions they've made, but you can reflect on your decisions and see if you want to try to change anything about yourself.
I don't know what exactly you're referring to when you say "misbehavior," but sometimes the stank will never come off a relationship after that. Also, people grow and over time may naturally drift together or apart. Could be you're still "misbehaving" but aren't aware of it.
Realistically SOL, move on. You can ask what you're doing that's objectionable but you need to be ready to hear it calmly and not try to fight/argue your case and that's hard to impossible for many. For that same reason it's a real crap shoot that they'll be willing to tell you. They don't want to get yelled at. IF they tell you, and IF you keep cool, then you decide if you want to change. It needs to be because you see value in it beyond the friends though because if you do, then try, but you still need to respect your friends and disengage. Just hope that they see the changes from afar and reach out. They may not. If you don't see intrinsic value/don't want to change, cool, move on.
you can't force friendship. for whatever reason things changed, that's a fact now, and no reasoning or anguish will make them decide to reverse their course. replace them with better friends. easier said than done, but letting this eat your brain isn't a valid solution. moving on, is.
I think it says a lot more about them than it does about you. I've had people who I thought were close friends turn out to be fake. It messes with your head and hurts like crazy, but you have to realize that it's about them and not you.
Thanks to all for your replies, seriously <3
I'll try my best to face forward and improve upon myself :)
Find like 2 new hobbies, preferably either a hobby done in groups / causes social interactions, make new friends!
Itll be okay fam. 😁