this post was submitted on 05 Apr 2024
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submitted 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 
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[–] [email protected] 64 points 7 months ago (1 children)

aaaaand the monkeys tore their arms off

[–] [email protected] 49 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

... and invaded Poland in 10,939 BCE and committed Neanderthal genocide

[–] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago

That means the Neanderthals survive much later than otherwise

[–] [email protected] 57 points 7 months ago (2 children)

*goes aaaaaaall the way back to that fucking fish that first evolved proto-lungs*

*kicks it back into the water*

This is for the greater good, you little bastard!

[–] [email protected] 20 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

You do this every morning to try and imprint the behaviour, when you get back all thats changed is almost all land dwelling life is now nocturnal because the proto lung fish learned to come out at night.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

Way too much work. I just want the one that set the branch for this timeline's iteration of mammals: get it eaten, fast forward to today's timeline and see if Lungfish B managed to evolve into a dominant race that doesn't brandish shit like greed, racism, religion, aggression, etc.

If things look the same or worse, go back and punt that bitch back into the water too, and see how Lungfish C does.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

So we would essentially be water people,

So dolphins

compares dolphins to modern life

Damn your right.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 7 months ago

Hitler is never stopped because the people who are going to stop him just keep getting wrecked by monkeys

[–] [email protected] 22 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Germany was ready for some level of fuckery. Kill Hitler... what would have happened? Who knows

[–] [email protected] 26 points 7 months ago (1 children)

German fascists were ready. Hitler won the chancelorship with only 35 percent of the popular vote. It's like saying all US-Americans are Trumpists.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago

The best part is that Hitler didn't win, Hindenburg won with 53% of the vote, and proceeded to staff all the positions of power with nazis, and then hand power over to Hitler.

The social democrats split from the communists and supported Hindenburg because "this is the most important election ever" and "we need unity and bipartisanship" type rhetoric.

Naturally that unity and bipartisanship meant working with the fascists against the communists.

The communists, ever cursed with Casandra Syndrome, ran on "A vote for Hindenburg is a vote for Hitler; a vote for Hitler is a vote for war."

[–] [email protected] 22 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Well, this finally explains how bonobos came to be. These 2 taught conflict resolution through the power of love to the wrong ancestors.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I thought the theory was we're from both? We got the sex desire from bonobos and the aggression from chimps? I'm not well versed so I admit I could be very wrong

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago

It's unlikely that we directly descend from any extant ape species, but rather that we share an extinct common ancestor.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Chimps also have sex for fun, I don't know about frequency. What sets bonobos apart from chimps and humans is that they use sex for conflict resolution. If humans or chimps have a territorial dispute, then it's going to lead to a violent war. If bonobos have a territorial dispute, then they usually sex it out (somehow, I don't know how they decide who comes out on top, if someone has to come out on top that is, maybe post nut clarity is enough to convince everyone that it's not worth the fuzz).

I only know one instance in human history where (maybe) something similar happened: Richard Lionheart and Philip of France.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

It's not cross-group. Bonobos fight with other bonobos. Intergroup conflict is settled with sex instead of violence, it's about group cohesion.

Example: Human pisses off their neighbor. The "advanced" human approach is to take it to court and allow the whole to decide who was in the wrong. The chimp approach is to just beat the shit out of your neighbor and take some food from his fridge to rub salt in the wound. The bonobos approach is to fuck his wife, his daughter, and his son, to which his only response will be so mad he'll fuck you then everyone is happy because sex.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I never understood why would you want to go back in time to kill Hitler. How do we know that somebody worse isn't going to show up in history books, just some time later? And probably as nukes developed around that time, probably with atomic bombs?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 7 months ago (2 children)

That is if you believe in the "great man" telling of history. It could be trends and sociological phenomenons that elevate those men or a confluence of both. It's not like anti-Semitism wasn't endemic before Hitler decided he would run on that.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Although it's hard to imagine something worse than the events of WWII, I often wonder what the world would look like without it. A lot of people around that time were exploring eugenics, as you mentioned there were plenty of anti-Semitic movements, and Hitler proved in no uncertain terms that these along with fascism were very problematic. I wonder if we would be in a worse position now, with more collective suffering just spread across centuries.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

Fascism laden with nationalism is quite popular with the crowds and we see that now that it's been long enough since the last war it provoked.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Isn't that basically what Matriks404 said? That WWII didn't happen because of Hitler and that killing off Hitler wouldn't have prevented it. It would have happened anyway, the question is in what manner, at what point in time exactly, and if it wasn't led by Hitler it would have been someone else, who might have been even more catastrophic.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

Ah ok sorry I thought you meant he was wrong. Then let's say all of us agree on the matter

[–] [email protected] 21 points 7 months ago

There's a documentary about that time it was tried. It's called "Red Alert".

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Are we mostly in agreement that free will is an illusion, then?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] -4 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Shit posting.

And pretending like parents caused most of your perceived jssues rather than taking personal responsibility over your actions rather than needing to project a scapegoat onto other evil people rather than just understanding that some of those people are just bad people.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

What made them bad? Were they born bad? Was baby Hitler an evil baby?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

tl;dr: Separated identical twin studies have shown over and over that so much of who you are, the small quirks, the larger life goals, all of it is something that you will be naturally inclined to. Being raised healthily only serves to dampen or enhance much of what's already there.

-

Mass murder, a careless disregard for human life and liberty, inflicting pain both emotional and physical onto others. Most of these are essentially switches some people simply aren't born with. People can learn or mask all they want, it doesn't mean you're not playing with a shit hand.

All people are not created equal. Many people have a significant harder time going through life because they rolled snake eyes on the genetic lottery. Our robust mountain of scientific evidence and understanding of the human brain points to nearly all of it being rooted in Scumbag Brain / Body.

Sauce:

https://www.npr.org/2023/08/11/1193176710/helicopter-or-hands-off-parenting-the-choice-wont-impact-a-kid-as-much-as-you-th

General Heritability of both IQ, Beauty, mental disorders:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epigenetics

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heritability_of_IQ

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychiatric_genetics

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_mental_disorders#Biological_factors

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Physical_attractiveness

Aggression specifically:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genetics_of_aggression

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC539471/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC539471/

Brain structure determining who you are studies:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_gender_incongruence#General

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pedophilia#Causes

Nurture doesn't matter as much as nature:

Helicopter or hands-off parenting? The choice won't impact a kid as much as you think

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nature_versus_nurture#Early_to_mid-20th_century

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genome-wide_complex_trait_analysis#Robust_heritability

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

Well, that's a reasonable conclusion to this thread.