this post was submitted on 28 Mar 2024
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Keris's situation (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

Hi everyone,

This is an update regarding Keris (also known as RiikkaTheIcePrincess). Many of you already know of the situation, but if you do not, go check out her posts on this community.

TL;DR Keris is and has been in an abusive situation with their parents in rural Oklahoma. They gave her a seven day eviction notice, and now they have to leave. They are trans, neurodivergent, and have no place to go.

Keris is in desperate need of a place to stay in Minneapolis. She has gotten their ticket and is set to arrive tomorrow at 4:20pm in Minneapolis. The shelters there are night-only, and are not a good fit due to a variety of factors.

If there is ANYONE who can host Keris in Minneapolis for even a couple of days that would be a huge help. They are in a very bad spot right now and could really, really use your help. If you know someone who could host, that works too.

Thank you for your consideration.

Edit 1: if anybody also knows of any programs in Minneapolis that can help get Keris less temporary housing and/or a job that would also be very helpful.

Edit 2: Keris has found someone to stay with in about two and a half weeks. For now, they are going to try and stay in a cheap hotel. Thank you to everyone who came together to support Keris in her time of need. Please keep sending support and kind words their way. Their PayPal is [email protected] for those who have asked.

I love y'all 🫂

Edit 3: It sounds like the place she was gonna stay in a couple of weeks fell through. They did make it to Minneapolis okay and are staying in a hotel. Keris still needs some kind of living arrangement (and friends).

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Do they have a PayPal / Venmo / anything else that we can donate to directly? I don’t live anywhere near there, but I would love to donate towards them being able to stay in a hotel.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Keris does have PayPal. That's very generous of you. I'll ask them about their details real quick.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

I too can chip in some cash (when I get paid tomorrow).

I've got nothing to offer job wise unfortunately, I have no idea how ive made it this far and all my IT experience is DoD.

they want multiple (3 I think) different references kinds of references and information for your entire immediate family (parents, siblings, children) to get clearance, and that can take a couple months at the best of times, usually much longer. You CAN put in notes on clearance paperwork that a family member is estranged but idk if it matters.

Comptia Sec+ cert gets most people in the door tho, and I get an entry level help desk contractor job at about $50K with just that and high school diploma. I've heard much the same about comptia Network+

Powershell or comparable transferable scripting skills are handy too (I am VERY new to powershell in my opinion but somehow others think otherwise)

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

That's very kind. This situation has been stressful and I've been all over the place mentally, but things are looking better now for Keris. You've been a lot of help so far and I really appreciate it.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

I try, even if it doesn't feel like much. Anxiety is a bitch and I feel incompetent at my job, but if nothing else I can chat with folks in a community I can feel comfortable in, maybe help a few people a little 😅

Edit: and I have learned a new thing that may explain why my body hair is so goddamn persistent and why shaving has always been a pain. Apparently, it's called Pili multigemini, and it's not normal to have 3-5 hairs growing out of a single follicle, in a widespread fashion 😑 yet another thing to discuss with a doctor at some point.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I feel ya. I struggle with anxiety too. I'm glad you feel comfortable in this community.

I did not know that condition existed 😬. Sounds like you got unlucky in the hair department. Hope you can get some solutions from your dr.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Don't know that I "officially" have it or not but it seems very likely. Benign but annoying. No actual treatment beyond removal via laser/electro that I can see from reading (which I'm fine with tbh, I'd like most/all of it gone anyway)

Standard disposable and electric razors have always been about as effective as a back scratcher to me, which led me to double edged safety razors (which are actually MUCH cheaper) which actually work decently on me.

Electric is fine for just longer hair removal, not so much for the "close shave" without spending like 10 minutes on 1 arm at every conceivable angle (and still missing a lot)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

You might could make a post about it on here and ask for others' advice. There's probably other people on here who have it and know the best way to deal with it.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago

Thank you. I hope they are somewhere safe tonight.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I may have some resources, and I'm in the process of contacting others here in the Twin Cities who may be able to help. OutFront MN may have resources too, also MTHC may be worth reaching out to. Queer Housing Exchange on Facebook can help you find a safe place to rent once you get the job lined up. I'm going to see what else I can find, I've got friends connected to the anarchist community here who may also be able to help. I live in Minneapolis, but I don't want to give out more info publicly. Keris, please contact me on matrix chat if you can. I'm @alligatorblizzard:matrix.org on there, or we can find some other way to communicate if you don't use matrix.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I just remembered, if you have an address you can use temporarily, figure out how to sign up/requirements for Medicaid ASAP (it seems like as soon as you have some kind of physical residence or employment established, and I may be able to help with that, you're considered a resident, IANAL but OutFront has lots of those and can probably answer that), and whatever else you can sign up for - once that happens you can sign up for $1 transit rides and likely other useful stuff.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

This is about the most extensive resource directory I've ever found, and it's pretty overwhelming. I think I just bookmarked it and didn't really read through it, but I really should. Saint Paul is also going to be easily accessible too so look there as well.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-1Z7KYtcjrxwvMOy3Luwt6ICnCpt5sgNTrYGPZtW_yk

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

Thank you for this! I will pass it along to them.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago

I am in the twin cities.

I too, am homeless, I live in my car though.

How old is this person? If she is under 25-26, there are considerably more resources available to her, but there are still some for those who aren't. What kind of luggage are we talking?

I could likely, at the very least, meet her at the airport and take her to one of the shelters as well as get her started on resources. I'll even buy her dinner.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

Maybe we should make a queer or trans support community.

Edit: I have a low key plan running with a friend on this. If it keeps growing we'll definitely be posting.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

There's been chatter about the same on a post under Transfem

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, I saw it. It was a big coincidence that both of those situations happened at around the same time. The thing about the support community idea is that I hope it can gain as much momentum as this community and MTF has (ftm's size is miniscule compared to those two...sigh). The more people, the more potential for someone in need to get help.

I imagine that some people would rather this community stay for discussion and advice, but it was an emergency so I did what I could. This post (and their posts) on this community really did get a lot of help for Keris.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Something along the lines of "trans escape" or just outright "(emergency?) resources DOT blahaj DOT zone"?

Maybe sending links to some known good charities to see if they'll maintain a presence there, maybe a "support helpline" bot to point people there who are posting in other communities? A continent/country/state/city wiki for "safely leaving" and "safely rebuilding"?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Yeah, those are some good ideas. People sometimes do just need to talk to other people and get reassurance, though. Also in Keris's case a lot of the resources didn't apply to her because they are out of the age bracket. I don't think it's a bad thing to have mutual aid in our community in addition to other programs and resources.

Charities are a good first option, but a lot of times their help has strings attached or it takes time to process the request. The key is having as many options as possible for people.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

Yeah, I felt about the same on charities. Them having a presence would be helpful though as they would be better able to determine eligibility at a glance, knowing timeframes, and communicating that effectively.

It's definitely a complex topic to navigate.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

As an odd alien, I feel like perhaps another key or at least important feature could be an easier interface.

  • A dozen lists of a thousand resources is twelve thousand things to look through and process and sort into mental space but actually maybe a couple thousand or so, many duplicates, much of the material irrelevant to many.
  • As I said, much info is irrelevant to many. I find a lot of youth stuff... despite being something of an adult child myself, that stuff's certainly not for me. It's just more stuff to add to my processing burden, just that bit more to help overwhelm me with a forest when I need a fern.
  • It can be really hard to tell if something's likely applicable to "me." For instance, there's a shelter organization here called Agate. Apparently the people there can be "rough," possibly specifically toward trans people. They offer shared-space beds on a daily basis, assigned as people call in beginning at 10AM. They don't seem to do stuff toward getting people off the street until someone's been in for long enough. They do fill up, and it can be quick enough that calling in the minute they open may be necessary. All of these things are very relevant but not very visible, so someone seeking shelter has to do a bunch of footwork, spend a bunch of time and possibly spoons, and/or get someone else to help them.

So there's a lot to go through even for one place and it may even be harder to dig through it than to actually get help. Dunno for sure, everything I've got came from "love measured in dollars and cents" "family" and the wonderful critters around here, but I bet some things are easier to literally get than to get through all' the resources for finding/getting it. Dunno if there's any remotely practical way to give everycritter a case manager or guide or something but it does feel like navigating resources to find relevant ones is harder than finding heaps of resources

Just ramblythoughts, on how to help critters 🤷

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Was about to say that myself. If I make it through this and get any resources of my own I'll be looking to do some supporting myself. Even if I can just figure out something useful about navigating this whole mess-ass process... I damn sure don't want anycritter else having to go through all' this crap I'm only even partway into.

Maybe I'll at least have some insight useful to whatever species of alien I am. Idunno whether all' the resources are uniquely unsuited to me or I'm uniquely unsuited to them or what else, but every single thing is too vague, too specific (to somebody else, usually!), or scarier than not knowing. Don't think I've seen a coherent guide of any kind. If not something unifying then a "how to start" could be good. And a place where people know how to do this could be amazing and invaluable.

... Of course, spontaneous, desperate escapes aren't all of the things with which people may need support 😅 I still don't know how to provide support for anything but (some) tech, though, and this looks like it's my thing at the moment and hopefully I'll learn something from it that others can use.

I'll try to stop ramble-yapping now. Maybe I'll go grab that bagel I've been wanting. I don't actually like bagels, though, so maybe not. Gotta rush up a shower first. Hair's too facey- waitno, wrong wordsing there. Face's too hairy. That's the one.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

Was not in time to obtain bagel :-\ 🤷

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Hey, I don't think enough people are going to see the update without another comment to bump it up in the Active sorting. Maybe there should also be another post?

I'm really worried, but I'm too far away to help. I really hope someone can.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

That's a good point. I'll make a post later today about it.