Have you heard of the dynamic toc plugin?
I could probably do this with Dataview, but I would prefer proper wikilinks.
I don't really understand what you mean by that. Do you mean, that you want to link to the note? Because Dataview can definitely do that. Or are you refering to linking to the headers within a note? I don't think that this can be done with Dataview.
Here a minimally working toc via Dataview btw: