this post was submitted on 16 May 2024
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As far as I can tell, "body positivity" is for ugly chicks. Pretty chicks don't need it and physical attractiveness doesn't exist for men.
As a man, the only thing about me that matters to anyone else is what value they can extract from me, and when the answer becomes "none" I will be discarded. Doesn't matter if a man looks like the inside of a kidney as long as he can pick up the check. Everything else about you is irrelevant.
I don't think most women are that cynical. Like do transactional relationships exist? Absolutely, but I don't think that's the majority of them and you probably don't want that kind of relationship anyways.
In fact, in my experience, women are typically made uncomfortable when I try to insist on paying for the entire bill on a date.
I think for a lot of women, it's as simple as, "am I comfortable and do I have fun when I'm hanging out with this guy?".
But at the end of the day, women are not a monolith that all think and act the same. Just as men are not a monolith that all think and act the same. So it is unwise to assume all women want the same things out of a relationship.
Yeah here's the thing about the women who just want to "be comfortable and have fun"...life has a way of becoming not comfortable or fun sometimes. Call up Little Miss "He makes me laugh" and tell her you've had a table saw accident and you need her to drive you to the hospital. See how much longer she sticks around.
I had a girl break up with me once because I said to her "I think I need to go to the dentist." Like the next words she said to me were "I don't think this is going to work out." Whatever we were, it certainly wasn't "friends." Turns out I was right, I've got a polymer bicuspid now.
The women who want to be around you because you're fun will walk out of the theater the second they're no longer enjoying the show. It's about what value they can extract from you. Always is.
Brother, these are super bizarre examples, and do not match my experience as a man whatsoever.
My past partners (and current too) absolutely would drive me to the hospital, even those with whom I just had a casual and completely financially independent relationship with. I even had an experience pretty similar to this in the past.
How does your world view account for relationships where the woman makes more money than the man?
Seems like somebody hurt you.
It is my understanding that these relationships are rare because of how many women categorically reject them, and relationships that didn't start out that way up but get there via promotions/layoffs whatever are on borrowed time or doomed.
Edit: what genre of music do you think Polymer Bicuspid would play? Would they be whatever blarp techno shit Freezepop is?
Do you personally view relationships that way? Transactional? In my experience there is a whole range of people when it comes to how much money matters to them, and seeing it as black and white is really limiting your options.
You remember back in high school or college, there was that group of friends that you always hung out with, you saw eye to eye with, you knew them, they knew you, you'd get a phone call at 2 in the morning, one of them is beside the road with a flat tire and you're who they called, so of course you go help? Like they don't ask because it's not a question, it's what you do, you'd do it for them, they'd do it for you?
First they stop texting you first but they'll reply when you text them. Then they stop replying. Then you stop reaching out. Then you delete their number. Then you get a text "Hey you still drive that truck?" By my mid-20's, there were none left.
Few mechanisms exist to meet new people beyond college, few people ever exchange contact details, of those that do, few answer the first time. I live in a town, lots of people live next door, across the street, down the block. None have introduced themselves.
Oh and "romances." So called. After the college sowing oats phase, in my actual adulthood, the one-night stands and short term flings were always 100% healthier than any attempt at long term romantic relationships. Communication...happened. "Here's what I expect, here's how long I want this to last, here are my deal breakers," etc. I will trade you one licked clitoris for one sucked penis. Deal, who goes first? Both simultaneously? No i prefer to be on my back. Okay, I'll do you then you do me. Great, let's go. That right there is 100% transactional, you could write it as a legal contract with consideration, terms and conditions. Anyone where you'd change your relationship status on Facebook for? No can't have that; that's beneath them. What ensues is 4 months of we go out on whatever dates I can come up with, ball is always in my court, she never knows what she wants, we have plenty of sex, but I almost always initiate, then about 2 months of vetos, shorter answers and "not tonight"s, then a week of "I hate that place" and "that's all you think about" and then it's done. She apparently wanted something from me, she was not willing to directly tell me what it was, preferring instead to see if she could get it by pretending to be my #1 groupie for a few months and then getting very resentful and angry when that didn't work. I'm not trying that again.
Do I personally view relationships as "transactional?" Yes, by derivation from first principles. Ask the question "Just what the fuck are relationships even for, anyway?" And the stock answer is "humans are highly social animals and they require interactions with other humans for their mental health" and, like, the very basic concept of a "relationship" is the mutual fulfilling of that need. "I will trade you one 'you heard someone's voice today say something not about work', in exchange for one 'I heard someone's voice today say something not about work'."
My first thought on writing that was "21st century wedding vows if ever I heard them." I was once broken up with for saying "I think I need to go to the dentist" so "to have and to hold in sickness and in health" is apparently out of the question.