this post was submitted on 15 May 2024
814 points (99.2% liked)

The Onion

4502 readers
921 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 59 points 6 months ago (1 children)

The title is the first punch but this line is the KO.

I can either get shot in a war overseas or I can get shot by some active shooter while I do a lesson about the Revolutionary War.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Also this:

“Listen Jack, the educators in the country are some of the most hard-working people I’ve ever met. They will make a great addition to the fight against terrorism. It’s because most of them have nothing to live for anyway because they can’t retire, they are in terrifying debt, and [the students] parents get to tell them what they can teach,” said Biden.

and this:

At press time, the teachers were holding a bake sale to raise funds for their airfare.