this post was submitted on 14 May 2024
650 points (98.7% liked)
Greentext
4366 readers
2176 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Have you ever wanted to kick back and relax, but you hate the after-wank munchies? Introducing the long egg tube! Just jam some eggs and your dick all up in there and give yourself a creampie that can quench that snack craving in one easy step! Call now and we will send you a second tube absolutely free; great for enjoying a romantic night in! But wait, there's more! Call in the next 60 seconds and we will add a butthole stretcher xl absolutely free! That's two tubes and a butthole stretcher for just 4 easy payments of 19.95!
You're supposed to blow on it to force the yolk out, eat that first, then fuck the albumen, and consume that afterwards. At least that's how it was taught to me.
The butthole stretcher is just like a free space in bingo.
You had me at jamming eggs up my dick. Take my money!
How much is shipping and handling?? That's where you long egg tube people get ya.
We have a variety of shipping options for any budget! Most customers choose the 10 day express with tracking and discretion option for 34.99, but we also offer overnight from our warehouse in [redacted] that comes with a complementary body pillow waifu and fold-out stand for display. For those on a tight budget, our 18 to 24 week option without tracking that will show up at your residence at the worst possible time and doesn't include exterior re-packaging so your neighbors know what your package is and will forever judge you, is free with any 399+ order. Resellers welcome with agreement, inquire online.
At GushingLongEgg Enterprises Ltd, we are always working hard to make our customers happy and satisfied, just like they will be upon receiving their product. Almost as hard as you.
(opened merchandise is not refundable, customer pays return shipping with approved rma, for terms and conditions visit GushingLongEgg.net/terms)