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This man is an antivaxxer and helped kill his wife by forcing her not to get vaccinated. (lemmy.world)

submitted 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I agree with your overall arguments and your position, just not the way you have portrayed it.

It would be trivial
she could have easily
getting vaccinated is simple, cheap, and as anonymous as you would like it to be
A shitty spouse has less control over this choice than the vast majority of choices in your life.

All reads like blaming the victim or not acknowledging that there can be barriers you possibly haven't even considered between a desire to act and an ability to. The goal absolutely should be about making personal decisions even in the face of adversity, but when you reduce it like it's just them being lazy, and not recognizing the full extent of their reality, it doesn't come across as empowering. Maybe decisions are also being made with consideration of their children and their needs which also affects the calculus in making otherwise personal choices.

[–] [email protected] -3 points 8 months ago

All choices come with a multitude of external influencing factors. This is not unique to the situation we have been discussing and in my mind is not even worth pointing out because it is universally true. Of course she had to weigh how her choice would impact her family and of course she had to consider the consequences of her husband finding out. She probably did what she thought was best for her situation but then she died anyway. She was wrong. When someone dies because they made a wrong choice you're supposed to wonder what they could have done differently. That's how we learn from their mistakes.

At the end of the day none of us know why this lady chose not to be vaccinated. The only thing we know for certain is the choice she made. Clearly it was not a good choice. That much at least is not up for debate. I would disagree with you if you said that choice was entirely out of her hands but if that makes you feel better about what happened to her then you are free to rationalize it in that way. Personally I think that does a disservice to her by painting her solely as a victim with no agency over her own life. It's theoretically possible that was the case but that kind of abuse is much more rare than the people assuming that was her situation are making it out to be.

Statistically it's far more likely she was simply annoyed by her husband's constant bitching about the deep state and didn't think it was worth pushing the issue. Again, we'll never know. Either way I don't think I'm doing anything wrong by pointing out that this potentially fictional woman bears at least some responsibility for what happened to her. If we don't do that and then try to figure out how she could have stopped it from happening then the story serves no purpose other than to revel in her husband's misery. If enjoying his suffering is the point of this post then I guess I am the asshole for thinking it was more civilized than that.