Autism

It mostly applies to a work scenario, i presume it still comes down to a personal style but because communicative challenges are typical its more likely such a thing is noticeable/annoying because we don’t understand each others social cues. Which i do express or at least try to express.

I believe the reason is often this:

The result of my work is more or less the same, but I am looking at and analyzing the screen differently, doing the job my own way.

I am rarely doing just my task; I am also actively engaged in improving my work, flow, efficiency. I generate new ideas for other tasks that require the same or similar details.

I kind of need to do this because it keeps me mentally involved with the bigger picture of what our team is supposed to accomplish, in abstract. Without it, I get burned out very quickly.

This means that often I am doing Task A, have been all morning. But I overhear something about Task B, suddenly I see something where if I put A and B together with E and Q I already had, I could accomplish something that helps with Tasks W and Z. (I am skipping letters to indicate that it’s not straightforward, personal deep logic, aka without proper lengthy explanation and proof on paper, no one can follow me here.)

But I hit a roadblock with my thoughts, mind you, I am still working and my primary focus is on just A.

This roadblock is often a seemingly minor detail. If it’s one way, it would be perfect; if it’s the other, I can throw my idea in the bin without feeling bad about it. For every great idea I have, a hundred bad ones are binned. I also avoid telling people my ideas until I am certain; I’ve been burned too many times by just spitting them out.

Because of the way my personal mind is built (autism-ADD), I am well aware I will forget any non-completed thoughts. The logic is too complex to scribble down without it including the whole puzzle. When I have a full picture, I can write it down by omitting all the deeper details so it becomes compatible with general NT logic, and I can move to figuring out how to explain this in the next meeting.

So, to know the answer to my blockade, which will act as the decider to continue or move on, I formulate a very specific question for information, purposely omitting the context of the depth that I am currently inside of in my head. Not only because I want it to be finished before bringing it up but also because I am still doing A, and others might perceive my style as getting distracted from my job rather than going beyond my task to do my job better.

“Does ‘this’ work like ‘specifically that’?”

It can be answered with a simple yes or no, but it rarely is, and I need to put both my task and my thoughts in a sort of pause state to not lose focus during the entire conversation.

I wish people would be more aware of MY social cues, that I ask broad questions to engage in broader conversation but want a very short, specific answer to meticulously specific questions.

This is just my perspective. My workplace is inclusive, but I have not gotten to talk about this specifically with our team. I’d love to hear your thoughts about it; it could definitely help when I do talk about this.