this post was submitted on 23 Feb 2024
954 points (95.3% liked)

Comic Strips

12785 readers
3036 users here now

Comic Strips is a community for those who love comic stories.

The rules are simple:

Web of links

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 69 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Unhealthy fear of committment

[–] [email protected] 28 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Their relationship seems healthy enough, doesn't it? They enjoy each others company, and they treat each other well. So is this unhealthy fear of commitment? Or is it explicit acceptance of uncertainty?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I'm mostly imagining what my reaction would be if one of my friends described a relationship by saying that if it isn't fun anymore they're done, but they're also thinking of moving in together. Major red flags.

Uncertainty is a huge part of life, but a large part of a relationship is being someone else's certainty. No matter what happens, you're there for them, through everything.

The relationship in the comic is cute because they made it, but I wouldn't hold it up as exemplary or healthy. Most people who treat relationships this way don't have relationships that last. They end up out their security deposit for breaking a lease on an apartment after a surprisingly nasty breakup.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago

I’m mostly imagining what my reaction would be if one of my friends described a relationship by saying that if it isn’t fun anymore they’re done, but they’re also thinking of moving in together. Major red flags.

I think that mischaracterises what is going on here. The characters in the comic aren't describing a relationship to a third party. They are talking openly and honestly about their feelings to each other.

You're talking about relationships not lasting, and being unhealthy, etc. - but there are multiple people in this thread who have publicly said that this comic reflects their own long-term ongoing relationship. I think it's important to understand that different people communicate their feelings differently. To you maybe telling to your partner that you can't promise to love them forever a red flag; - whereas to me, telling someone that you will love them forever unconditionally is a red-flag, because life isn't really like that. I don't want platitudes or empty promises.

I agree that it's bit sketchy to say to your partner "if it isn't fun, them I'm off"; ('fun', I think, is a bad word to use.) But on the other hand, the two characters in the comic agreed at the start that they weren't even looking for a long term relationship. So they are on common ground. They aren't just pulling out a bombshell from nowhere; but rather they are acknowledging their current and changing feelings. So in their relationship it can make sense to say something like that.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

They are acknowledging the inherent mortality of relationships, and they seem to be doing fine together.

There is always the possibility of shooting yourself in the foot and being too scared of the relationship ending and screwing it up that way, but there's also the possibility of it ending because you ignored the risks and warning signs.

It's about striking a balance, and that balance is gonna be different for each relationship.