this post was submitted on 17 Feb 2024
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If both parties are reasonable people, there’s nothing wrong with vacating your seat so someone can have it if you’re done with that seat. It depends on how she asked because you’re not entitled to kindness or generosity if you’re a bully or rude. Since he seemed to have mind it, I am guessing either she asked rudely or he perceived rudeness in her ask.
I don’t think there is a proper way to ask. Leave people that are eating alone so they can enjoy their meal. Even if you ask nicely, you are still putting pressure on the person eating. If you need to be seated a specific time go to a restaurant with reservations.
"excuse me, I see you're almost done eating. Are you planning on leaving soon? No? Okay, thank you."
It's not about the ask, it's about taking the "no" gracefully.
Or you could just wait for a seat to open up and take it, because if you’re “asking correctly”, in which you aren’t pressuring anyone to leave, the end result would be exactly the same.
The result of getting a table or not remains the same, but knowing whether or not to pay attention to that table leaving is different. It could mean waiting for that table or going to another area in to see if another table is leaving or open.
Yeah, I think asking creates too many opportunities for conflict, so I agree.
By that logic, you shouldn't ask anything ever. "Opportunities for conflict"?
There is no conflict if you accept a "no." The impotus on preventing a conflict isn't in the ask, it's in accepting the answer.