this post was submitted on 16 Feb 2024
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submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/post/14520362

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[–] [email protected] 89 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hello there. I'm a mid twenties man living in current day, working part time in a home improvement store, and I live alone in a ten bedroom apartment in midtown Manhattan with my meticulously groomed pure bred dog, have twelve pack abs, perfectly coiffed hair, and am rewarded with the equally beautiful woman for criminally stalking her throughout the movie and ultimately forcing myself upon her.

Movies are ridiculous. Ridiculous sells tickets or streams or whatever makes movies money these days.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Hi I am a reluctant hero who sometimes gets shot but only in fleshy muscles where the bullet always misses major blood vessels, tendons and bones. I also can still hear fine even after firing dozens of rounds indoors without any ear protection.

We should hang out some time.