TW: Homophobia, abuse
I work at a children's foster care organization that specializes in caring for kids who have experienced significant trauma. I'm somewhat acclimated to terrible parents.
As I walked by the front desk late this morning, the receptionist disgustedly thrust the phone towards me. On the other end was a woman asking if we are an orphanage, and if we can take her son. (This is not an unheard-of situation... Most of the time it's a stressed out parent using us as a threat to put their kid back on the straight and narrow.)
I answered as I usually do, giving her the referral hotline for social services. She immediately went ballistic, screaming and jostling the phone so that I could only hear every third word. But it was clear that the reason she was so upset is that she just found out her son is gay. She kept using the f****t word.
I had the receptionist, a resident, and a social worker all standing around watching, so I couldn't say what I wanted to. I was also in a bit of an adrenaline shock and nearly froze, but I gave the only answer I could muster... "Since you've chosen to use abusive language, I'm going to disconnect the call."
My vent is this: it's so easy to not be an abusive asshole. I hate living in a world where this person's vote counts the same as mine. I hate living in a world where people can be this hateful and aren't completely shunned from society.
My secondary vent is this: I wish I had a brain that didn't short circuit under stress, and that I would have thought to "play along" so that I could gather this woman's contact info and at least tried to help that poor boy.
Thank you for letting me vent. I don't feel better, but at least I feel like I've shared.
It's very common to freeze up in a situation like this, especially with coworkers looming. You'll be better prepared to handle the next one. Sadly, this kind of human misery comes from a bottomless pit. I'm grateful there are folks like you out there who care enough to want to make a difference, even if you weren't able to this time. You can't save the world, but you can and will help someone.
I'm grateful for your words and perspective.