this post was submitted on 12 Feb 2024
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[–] [email protected] 33 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (5 children)

I don't plan on actually doing this, but would this be appropriate to send to a trans coworker who I work with, but don't actually have a relationship with outside of work? We don't have any history of sharing memes or anything.

For context, she's one of the senior devops engineers at my company

[–] [email protected] 82 points 9 months ago

If you have to ask, no

[–] [email protected] 75 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Personally, I wouldn’t want to receive a meme that assumes some level of familiarity with me from a co-worker if we never had that relationship before.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Why should your choice of operating system have anything to do with any other aspect of your identity?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

I think it's identifying the person as trans that's the issue. That's my biggest hesitation; I almost guarantee she would appreciate the meme. But if I were to actually transition (egg_irl) I don't think I would want people who I wasn't very familiar with identifying me as trans even if it was obvious. I just wanted to hear some people's thoughts here

[–] [email protected] 34 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

I would say get to know her more first and then see what kind of humour she has.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Posted a response to another person, but I think it's identifying her as trans that's my biggest hesitation; I almost guarantee she would appreciate the meme. I probably should have been more explicit in my question, but I don't how personal it is for people to be identified as trans even in a neutral/positive context.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

I've stuck my foot in my mouth before. I would follow the advice above.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Personally I feel like if you have to ask, I'd lean towards caution and not sending it. I mean, best case she gets a chuckle out of it, worse case it kinda creeps her out.

If you're unambiguously an ally and she has seen proof of/knows this, most trans people I know would be fine with it. I'm not sure the risk/reward is worth it though (and tbh I'd say the same for sending memes to any coworkers one's not on more familiar terms with)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Personally I feel like if you have to ask, I’d lean towards caution and not sending it.

That's exactly why I don't plan to =].

most trans people I know would be fine with it

I should have been more explicit with my question, as that's kind of what I was getting at. If most trans people are comfortable being identified as trans even if it's in a neutral/positive context

[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago

I'd say no. This is a bit of a risque type of humour. There's so much here that could be misunderstood, and it requires some context which they might not know or appreciate.

I think generally memes about marginalised groups should be avoided entirely in work environments unless said groups are extremely normalised.