this post was submitted on 08 Feb 2024
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Transfem

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I did all the things. Transitioned. Quit opioids and cigarettes. Went back to school. Got discriminated against and persevered. Quit my last job because of anti LGBT policy and got my dream job.

Oh, and I did all that since 2020.

And it's a nightmare. I'm isolated. No support, and I found out today my coworkers hate me and think I'm trash.

I don't know what to do. Go back to school? It's just going to be more of the same. In the last five years, I achieved more than I ever thought I could. And I've never been more alone or miserable than I am right now.

I'm tired of living in a world that doesn't want me, that I'll never be good enough for. My parents were right, I'm never going to be good enough.

So what's the point?

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I really don't know how to help you through a situation like that especially since I am not trans and your experience is likely very different from mine

However, I've found it really helps to have something to blame. It probably is not healthy but it directs all the indignation and frustration towards an easy target and makes it more manageable. I also found that it transforms a lot of my depressive emotions into more angry emotions which I personal handle better. I can take that anger and use it as motivation where I'd otherwise rot in bed. For me that easy target is capitalism and the bourgeoisie.

Obviously this is no substitute for meaningful connections with other people and isolation will eat at you regardless but for me it was a step in the right direction. As others have mentioned, therapy is probably a good idea. The advice I've given from my anecdotal experience might not work for you at all and could even hurt you but it's the best I had. Therapy is your best bet if you can afford it