The Onion

4428 readers

2173 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

306

Biden Announces He’s Reheating Chili If Anyone’s Interested (www.theonion.com)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

22 comments fedilink hide all child comments

WASHINGTON—Stating that it was as easy to prepare 330 million helpings as one, President Joe Biden announced Thursday that he was reheating chili if anyone was interested. “I’m going to pop some chili into the microwave in a minute or so if anyone wants some,” said Biden, who raised his eyebrows as he gestured emphatically at the large container of leftover meat and beans and repeated “anyone want in on this?” “It smells good. I bet it tastes good, too. It’s from Tuesday, but it should still be good. Better, even. It gives the flavors time to mingle. Alright, last chance if anyone wants any. You’ll need to get past security to get into the White House, but I can arrange that.” At press time, Biden was attempting to entice the nation by shaking a bag of oyster crackers.

link: https://www.theonion.com/biden-announces-he-s-reheating-chili-if-anyone-s-intere-1851174872

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 59 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Shit. I'd eat chili with Biden.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Hell yeah, and if secret service didn’t tackle me for taking out my phone to take a selfie, I’d even take my chances and ask if he wants to go for an ice cream cone afterwards.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago

You offer to hop on amtrak as well and the man would literally hug you.