this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2024
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difference between a statement and a complaint? (lemmy.world)
submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
19 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

What is the difference between a complaint and a statement? If theres anyone with a better set of social skills here to help a dude out lol

Ie when you're chilling watching TV and somebody asks you to go out, but you respond with no thanks, I'm tired. Would stating you're tired be considered a complaint?

Just had a similar action with an NT friend, who says I complain about being tired a lot. When I look back and I never bring it up unprompted, and they comment on my mood so i tell them whats up.. is there some social thing which simply stating you feel negative is seen as a complaint?

Edit: thanks so much for all the comments! I should have been more specific, the examples I gave were not my actual experiences. In fact if I were to be more specific, it's my roommate that made me think about this, and they never want to go out lol. But I can still gain some insight from the comments! But it was much more generalized. Actual interaction: we are going about our day and my roommate casually asks "hey how are ya" and I respond "a bit tired!" And they remark on how I complain about being tired a lot. Which surprised me because I was answering their question, and not getting long winded into it. Then it dawned on me maybe simply stating I feel negative is seen as a complaint by people. Iunno.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Sidenote: If someone asks how I do, I tell them. In a friendly and not detailed way but thats all I can muster. If thats ok for them, great. If not, their problem.

I‘m the first person to jump if someone is in a chrisis but I cant be bothered to play these games.

Make any sense?

[–] [email protected] 0 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Yeah makes sense. I suggest though you check in on yourself with one part: "if not, their problem"

Hypothesis: If that's the case you wouldn't have created the OP.

This is intended purely as food for thought so - chances are high that I'm straight wrong. Still worth thinking about it in my opinion, just to be sure!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

I'm not sure I understand you correctly.

I do care what others feel. But their assumptions are not my concern. Does that make clearer?

If I ask you how you feel, I want the truth, nothing else. If you want to tell me, fine. If you dont want to tell me, fine as well.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 10 months ago (1 children)

What I intended to say is that it's possible that you do care about their assumptions - more precisely how they behave based on their assumptions.

Because if that is the case than it could be worth the energy to train social reaction patterns (if that's possible at all, excuse my lack of knowledge!)

The more you learn about your own reactions the better you know where to spend the very limited amount of emotional energy every person has - that's the reason why I brought it up in the first place.

To put it in another way: assumptions and feelings are very closely related and exploring this connection could be time and energy well spent.

If you have a close person who knows you well you could ask them this question by the way - at least for me it's sometimes easier to see patterns for others than within myself!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

I see. But I dont think I do. Assumptions are very rarely a good thing and I dont think I want to learn something like being less direct for some dance.

Maybe the others want to learn to be more direct and truthful.