this post was submitted on 06 Jan 2024
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I never understood people that freak out at swearing. I can understand it's not the most polite, but some people really freak out if you swear.
As someone who curses quite a bit, going to America was an eye opener. People who weren't even in the conversation were taking offense. I didn't realise it was so taboo there. Cunt is never said and it's like a 20 a day word for me.
Imo here in the US, cunt has something of a sexist connotation, so respectable blasphemers tend to avoid it unless it's really called for.
In my personal swearing, I try to limit it to things that apply to everyone. Fornication, defecation, and damnation are things everyone can do (but might choose not to). Gendered or targeted swears have the possibility of perpetuating toxic traits, so I personally stay away from them. Fuck, shit, damn, all good. Other things get slippery so I try to avoid them myself. Granted, even that is a blurry line as I’ve highlighted I’m fine denigrating walnuts and trumpets elsewhere in this thread. I also don’t force that somewhat provincial view on others because it’s a personal standard. I might talk about why I try to avoid gendered swears, but that’s on me not on you.
I'd argue it's perfectly possible to be a cunt without having one.
Yeah, context can matter too though. I might say "son of a bitch" when I miss an exit or something, but I wince when I hear a woman called a bitch. In that context it's essentially a slur
It’s also sometimes used as an extremely crass description of genitals. People calling it a cunt either tend to be a bit of a pig or someone who’s got one and swears like a sailor
Yet it wasn’t always that way. Once upon a time that was the normal, everyday ‘correct’ word for that part of the body. It was only a few hundred years ago we decided that Greek and Latin words were the only proper way to discuss anatomy.
Cunt is always going to rile women and some men more. It's a completely different context here. Most women really really don't like it.
A fuck or shit as long as it's not in a children's park or anything in most places isn't going to be that big a deal.
I've always perceived Americans as very curse word friendly people. Not like Australians of course, but still very accepting of it.
Most are IMO. Cunt is a special case. Fuck and shit in most contexts are going to be fine.
Australians have a strange sense if humor.
As an American yeah that’s used to happen. But I’ve not had it happen in years. Cunt though, yeah it’s considered either an extremely misogynistic insult or an extremely graphic term for body parts we don’t talk about much.
I'm not that old but even in the last 15 years or so I've noticed that the fuck-word has become a lot less taboo. Even people I know who don't swear very much I've heard use it, granted very sparingly, but they wouldn't have used it at all a fewyears ago. Kids are picking up swearwords casually earlier than my peers did.
My hypothesis, I think I big part of the change is YouTube personalities. A ton of the biggest YouTubers, especially the gamers, have sailor mouths. Gen z and later grew up with "let's fuckin go" and shit like that, and I think that that casualness is bleeding into older generations too.
I work a trade in the US, and if something is a little off, it's a cunt hair off. But that's the most common place I hear it.
That’s ridiculous. My cunt has the thickest hairs on my body. If it’s a little off it should be a belly hair off. Fuckers are just like “ha you’re still a mammal so one of us will slightly darken from time to time”
I'm curious what state you were in. It varies quite a bit regionally. I curse frequently and have never had anyone in public get offended where I live.
Midwest, Chicago too.
Huh, that surprises me out of Chicago.
I remember people from the US coming to our little office and the amount of swearing we did shocked them. It was almost funny to watch them turn around in disbelief.
Aussie?
Nope, Irish
At least the "serving cunt" meme has supercharged America's acceptance towards the word. Live in the south and have heard more people say it in public in the past year than ever before.
Honestly you have a right to complain to anyone who is swearing. That's not a nice thing to say and serves no value.
Not according to the article. Get fucked
Moat words don't serve value. We could get rid of a decent sized portion of our dictionary of we wanted to. But we keep them because they still serve a purpose.
If I tell you I threw the red ball, you didn't need to know it was red. But you can get a little bit more of an image of the story I am telling you by throwing it in there.
"But curse words are different!"
Why? I ask this all the time, and I have never had anyone give me a good answer as to why fuck is bad. I can say fudge to replace it, and suddenly its. Fine. I'm saying the same thing with the same attitude and the same intent, but I just switched it out for something that sounds different so that we all know what I'm saying without actually saying it. So why is fuck a bad word?
I think it's because that's the purpose of swear words. To be the bad words. It's how language develops. And there are benefits to having some bad words. It allows you to choose your level of formality, to signal familiarity or emotional state. They even apparently live somewhere else in your brain and swearing actually reduces pain to some degree.
Which for me then raises the question of: Do we have evidence these were created to be BAD? I'm not necessarily talking about FORMAL. While I'm not a very formal person, I can at least understand the reason there is a more formal way of talking. But formal would basically just be a more proper way of using the language without any form of slang. Using slang would still be seen on another level from swear words.
So what makes the word fuck bad? Even when not in a formal environment some people will get upset over swear words, but not only people speaking in a casual manner. Why? What sets apart the word fuck from other words?
You can triangulate the issues if you look at a variety of languages. They’re linguistic taboos. In English and German they tend to be sexual or involve private biology in some way. In French they’re religious words that should be held in high regards being used in profaning ways. In Scandinavia it’s diseases one would rather not have. These are words that we set aside for some reason to not use in casual ways at one point and then we use it as an easy taboo to break
At an old job I said something in the work chat like "for fuck's sake, it returns 200 OK when there's an error!"
One of the managers responded "language, please."
So me, an asshole, started using "fudge" instead of "fuck" everywhere. "That endpoint is fudged up and we should change it".
They "let me go" a couple months later, but now I make twice as much money doing more interesting work, so that worked out. They can go fudge themselves.
To actually answer, I imagine for some people it calls up imagery of fucking, and that makes them uncomfortable. But that seems like a them problem. I'm not very sympathetic on that explanation.
That wasn’t very nice or productive of a thing for you to say. The linguistic benefits of profanity are well established and it seems to be a cultural issue, not a kindness issue. Tone tends to play more of a signifier in kindness of profanity than word choice, and their use as a genuine insult appears to be declining.
You certainly have the right to complain; but the one you're whining to also has the right to tell you to fuck off.
You're free to adhere to whatever rules you'd like, but imposing your preferences on others is going to be met with resistance, so if you hear some stranger say something you find offensive, maybe just mind your own business?
I'm in the US and swear quite a lot. Even at work and on slack and shit. I don't think I've ever been fussed at for it.
I have been, but those people can go fuck themselves.
If I haven't called someone or something a cunt during my day, then there's something seriously wrong with me and I need to go to the hospital immediately.
As a Californian who grew up playing long nights with my Aussie friends (AUS connects to CA for their Internet so we get them a lot at night):
I'm one of the Americans fighting for the use of "cunt" more!
People are shocked at first when I use it but I'm usually onto the next thing so fast, suddenly say it in an Australian accent, and am very clearly not being negative when I say it most times (big smiles) they usually pick up that it's not mean.
They do ask where the fuck I learned to use it though and it took my wife literal years to adjust
Why on Earth would you be using such language in a public place? I can't imagine why people were freaking out.
Why the fuck not?
Why wouldn't I?
Because that's not I nice thing to say? Why didn't you slap them in the face? They are equivalent in many places in the US.
Well that's the point isn't it, cultural differences.
I suppose. Anyway I still don't care for people who use heavy profanity.
I’ve found that many people can’t differentiate “swearing around” vs “swearing at.” If I am swearing, it is to add filler words to my sentences that serve many purposes. I am not (rather, very rarely) attempting to insult or denigrate someone else. I do not understand why someone takes offense at “I really struggled to hit my fucking steps today” or “Shit I dropped the fucking ball.” I do understand why someone takes offense at “you ignorant fucking walnut” or “fuck you you fuck trumpet.” Conflating the two situations is so fucking dumb.
Also, even when hurling invectives someone can be just as abusive without swearing.
They're letting you know they suck to be around.
I've thought about this (and taboo and norms in general) for a bit, so I'll take an unresearched guess that can be summarized as "swears are bad because people agree they are". Words have an associated context; which ones you use give some indication about the kind of person you are. In the case of swears, the context is that most people think that it is wrong to say them (though exactly how wrong varies), and (this is important) that most people think that everyone knows how wrong it is to say them. If you say a swear, you are (in others' eyes) demonstrating that you are the kind of person willing to knowingly violate these norms. The implication continues, then, that you are uncaring about what they might think or believe, what everyone in the community thinks or believes, and are willing to demonstrate that to their faces. Obviously, that may not match how you intended the word, but I think that this perceived hostility lies at the core of the reactions of those who freak out.
Either that or trauma from their parents or teachers freaking out it, or fear of divine punishment or something similar.
Interesting thought. It's kind of like the out group of, clutches pearls, atheists.
Why were you swearing? It serves no purpose really.
Profanity has existed for thousands of years in almost all languages and cultures for a reason, it absolutely serves a purpose.