this post was submitted on 27 Dec 2023
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The somewhat regrettable fanfic Methods Of Rationality has Quirrel pull a fucking uzi on Harry. Totally reasonable for a well-traveled megalomaniac to have in his robes. A tool for every occasion.
Fucking what
I was about to mention here A Study In Magic, a Sherlock x HP crossover that actually doesn't suck, where this shit is mentioned, but MOR had a fucking uzi appear like this????
I couldn't get into MOR, and now I'm even more conflicted wether I should read it or not
When Harry meets Hermoine he tells her to name all the quarks or else she's an NPC.
Which is intense whiplash from the previous chapter, where politely asking Draco to describe the Death Eaters' whole deal has him ticking off rhetorical beats for plain old fascism.
Basically, the Less Wrong guy wrote a full Harry Potter novel, and it is exactly what you'd expect. Some aspects are fantastic! Others... yikes.
A detail I love that's not a spoiler: Crabbe and Goyle are well-characterized to act exactly the way they are in canon. They've been molded as bodyguards since they were little, and now they're in wizard middle school getting to play tough-guy bruisers on Draco's behalf, so of course they're tryhard doofuses that he finds mildly embarrassing. But when Quirrel invites one of them to spar, demonstrating the ancient mystical defense known as... judo... Goyle quietly asks what belt he has. Quirrel says "seventh dan." The tough-guy act comes right back up, and Goyle throws himself into it, because he knows he's about to get his ass kicked, safely.
The whole thing is ultimately about modeling people on these layers of facade. A lot of it gets overly analytical and kinda up-its-own-ass. Certain characters call that out and condemn actions at face value, so some of it's deliberate writing for the protagonist and antagonist. But only some.
Even with abundant benefit of the doubt, figuring 'this guy wrote Harry like a know-it-all child,' any recommendation would be complicated.
Okay that judo stuff is fucking amazing
This is why I love fanfic