Transfem

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A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.

Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.

Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
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Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.

To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]

Some helpful links:

The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
Gender Spectrum // Resources for youth, parents and family, educators, mental health professionals and faith leaders.

Support Hotlines:

The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.

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Alternating between hopeful and tired (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

5 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Let's assume that you recently cracked your egg. You then had a period of intense focus on this realization. You came out to friends, you explored things typically associated with your newfound gender identity (such as clothes), and you reveled in how this made you feel. You were confident that you want to transition.

Cut forward a few weeks. The novelty has worn off and getting access to medical care is so slow. Also you're not out everywhere yet (e.g. work), so you still get addressed with your old pronouns and name constantly. Thinking or talking about yourself trips you up all the time, because you keep misgendering yourself. Your chosen pronouns and name still feel nice but also like a reminder of who you aren't "yet". You feel tired.

You start to ask yourself if you're really trans or if it was just the novelty of it all. If all of this is worth it. But at the same time you'd still press a magic button that gives you the body you dream of in a heartbeat.

How would you deal with this?

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

I would deal with this, and did, the only way that you really can: take it one day at a time, have deep reserves of both patience and grace, for yourself AND others, and remind yourself that transition is a marathon, not a sprint.

Puberty sucks real bad, even when it’s the correct puberty, and there’s a whole lot of “everything at whatever pace it goes at” to the experience that can feel depressingly, agonizingly slow.

You’ll get there. Take a deep breath and, rather than focusing on all the things you need to get to and need to get started and need to navigate your way through, allow yourself a moment to celebrate the few small victories you already accomplished! Those are the building blocks that can get you to your “magic button-adjacent” future.