this post was submitted on 04 Dec 2023
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Autism

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Help needed with volume sensitivity (self.autism)
submitted 11 months ago by bloopernova to c/[email protected]
10 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

My wife and I are both autistic. She has difficulty moderating the volume of her voice, and I'm volume sensitive. So far she's been unable to recognize when I'm having trouble, and I've been unable to stop being so sensitive. :/

I've tried wearing earplugs but I have trouble remembering to keep them in.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to reduce volume from someone when you're sensitive and they're loud without realizing it?

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Have this same issue, but my partner isn't noise sensitive. Having a motion or hand sign that is an agreed upon motion to let your partner know "hey maybe a little too much rn" is a nice gentle way of helping manage. If discussed beforehand, should make it feel natural and not volume policing.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

Especially if it’s a gentle, loving gesture. Otherwise it can feel like a rejection, so I absolutely second discussing it ahead of time.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

My partner has hearing loss, so her speaking volume sometimes doesn't match the background. Even when it's just the two of us hand signals are useful, as they can be dropped without breaking the flow of conversation. We use basically the same as a sound tech uses to indicate back to the desk at a show - upturned palm lifting for louder, downturned palm lowering for quieter.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

I like this approach too. I have friends that are couples and have their own little signs to communicate secretly around others. If discussed in a loving way, it might even be a cute way to get closer to each other. It's like you're taking care of each other.