this post was submitted on 03 Dec 2023
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The Monkey's Paw

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Want to make a wish? Just ask the Monkey’s Paw! No strings attached.*

Just create a post that starts with “I wish ___”. Other users will then grant you the wish, and probably not how you intended.

^(*)^ ^Strings^ ^definitely^ ^attached.^ ^Satisfaction^ ^not^ ^guaranteed.^ ^Wish^ ^will^ ^likely^ ^backfire.^

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Granted. It doesn't protect you from physics.

If you jokingly try to jump to the moon you will succeed. And promptly suffocate in the vacuum.

Actually let's extend it logically: Any attempt to move will rip you apart unless you consciously decide to move at a normal human speed. Otherwise your every move will be instant.