this post was submitted on 23 Nov 2023
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It's definitely good to hear this from time to time. Even though I'm gay and trans, I often feel like I'm "not queer enough" to be part of the community. I do wonder if it's more of a "too old and not extrovert enough" thing, though. Not so much a problem online, but out there in the physical world, I've never met another LGBT+ person who wasn't decades younger than me, many decibels louder than me, or both.
@frog (just making sure you get a notification of this reply - some servers aren't great at that)
beg pardon for upcoming language where I try to tell you what to think, it comes from a positive place.
friend, don't ever let the attitudes of others make you feel like you're "lesser."
Let me tell you about one of the most wonderfully boring things I've ever seen. One of the most powerful displays of belonging was at my first Pride parade, oh wow this was ages ago. I didn't notice the name of the group, I'm sure they had a banner, but it just looked like a bunch of regular people walking in the middle of a parade. All I could think at the time was "where is the colourful clothing? why are they not dancing? Where is the outrage? where is the joy?" I didn't see anything that would make me judge them as being worthy of being in a pride parade. Fuck just writing it makes me realize how stupid I was :) Spoiler: They were in the pride parade because they were all queer. Pick a letter, that was them. And they all looked totally normal, and they didn't dance and sing and turn themselves about. Because that was the kind of queer they were.
if you're "too old" you still matter. If you're "too boring" you still matter. You are not unworthy.