this post was submitted on 13 Nov 2023
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Feminism

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cross-posted from: https://kbin.social/m/[email protected]/t/623593

Harping on people to get married from up in the ivory tower fails to engage with reality of life in the dating trenches.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's not turning out very well for women. A recurring theme in this area is that men seem hesitant on commitment, which ends up ending the relationship one way or another.

The issue is more complex and deeper.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Depends what you mean by "commitment".

Some think it means marriage and children. Which is understandable being hesitant about. Both are big steps that require some "scrying" into the future.

But I don't have the impression there's as much of a problem with simply commiting to a relationship and being a couple.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Marriage is the ultimate sign of commitment, making your relationship legal and/or spiritual while declaring it in front family and friends.

Men who are against marriage are seemingly against commitment, but I think that comes out of a strong desire for commitment and stability.

Children are whole different issue from marriage admittedly.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

It's dependent on a few different things. The country you live in and such.

Some years back there was a wave of 'catfishing' stories in the media. "Get married and lose 49% of everything you own" basically.

That'll make anyone hesitant to sign a marriage contract.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

plus you've got societal expectations for marriages. honeymoons, church marriages, the recitals and all that can cost big money. even just the photography. It all costs a bunch of money that some people just don't have, and they're too hesitant to burn bridges over it. Sure, you can elope in secret right? But that's a bigger can of worms then just staying partners

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Yup, If we could do away with all negative economic aspects of weddings and marriage, I doubt that kind of commitment would be a problem for most men.