Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
- Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
- Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
- Please be kind and respectful to all.
- Please tag NSFW topics.
- No NSFW image posts.
- Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
- Please do not repost bigoted content here.
Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
- Gender Spectrum // Resources for youth, parents and family, educators, mental health professionals and faith leaders.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
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Let's get one thing out of the way: you're not guilty of anything here.
Transitioning is a choice, and it's up to each transgender person to decide when and how to do so. Some people never transition - that's perfectly valid.
What is most important is your comfort and safety, and if you don't feel ready, then it's absolutely OK to pause your transition.
I'm nearly 40, began medical transition at 37. It took me... a decade to resolve my identity. I passed through various stages. The realization of being transgender hit like a ton of bricks. Surprising, and yet not, somehow? I lived decades believing I was stuck in my body.
I will say that I have experienced tremendence progress in recent years. It took 6 months to a year of HRT before I could see "the woman in the mirror". Now I see my true self more often than not - it's a wonderful and priceless feeling. My breasts continue to grow and round out - long after I feared my transition was stalled.
However, I'm blessed with a very supportive partner and life circumstances that allow me to make such changes without worrying about family.
My body is naturally somewhat feminine. I still die inside sometimes when I see my face (beard/stubble, receded hairline, nose), hear myself speaking too deeply, or get misgendered. I'm over 6 feet tall - I stand out.
Here's where I'm at three years in:
I have only now reached a point where I'm comfortable moving forward. I also feel the pressure of my state's anti-trans politics, the longer I wait, the harder this is going to be. Indeed I feel compelled, not only to make the best decision for myself, but to face my opponents and show them I won't back down.
Is it frightening? Oh hell yes. Transitioning is terrifying, it's super difficult and expensive. Not everything that comes from that is good. I'm not going to judge anyone for stopping or delaying their transition.
If you can live as your assigned gender, and you find ways to cope, more power to you. Everyone's path is different. I do recommend a good therapist so you can discuss how you feel. IMO your relationship and your own mental health depends on it.