this post was submitted on 01 Jul 2023
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I found similar when I left my country of birth, that many people don't keep in touch, even if I tried to maintain a connection. Out of sight, out of mind.
What did you bond over with your friends?
It's a common thing for people who move (country) as kids. Sociological term is Third Culture Kid.
Wow just knowing that it's so common an experience that there's a name for it is comforting.
Thank you so much for sharing that.
Read a book about it if you have time or a few articles.
I read the big one (Pollock, Van Reken) and it was honestly scary how well it described some parts of my personality, and the challenges I was dealing with in my life.
Thanks, added it to my to-be-read list. My preference is fiction these days, but I'm not above mixing in an academic book every now and then
That sounds nice. Similarly I've been in a book club for about two years now that was started on Reddit.
Although we haven't read a book in months, we still meet virtually every week, so I guess we're just friends now.
The ultimate test of these kinds of groups seems to be whether they can survive transplantation from one social medium to another. I wonder how my little book club would fare if there was a schism over using discord...
Maybe there is a board here that would help you set up something like that? It can't hurt to look around and put out some feelers.
I’m going to ask the obvious- have you reached out to them?
For as good a tip as that is, and @NumbersCanBeFun should definitely try it if they haven't (or can), it doesn't always work.
I did the whole reaching out thing for years for those I knew from Uni, and for almost all of them I was the only one reaching out. It felt tiring holding up a relationship the other person had stopped caring about, so I ended up dropping most of them and haven't heard anything since.
I’m sorry. That sucks
Yeah, that sucks, but you've done what you could in that situation
Damn, I hope you're better now.
I think this has taught us there should be multiple ways of getting in touch with people. Don't put everything in one basket (in this case, Reddit). Hopefully the Fediverse will be one of many ways to do so.
I've seen what 4chan can cook up, so I think it'd hardly be fair to call you a loser for having the gaul to make friends online haha
Joking aside though, it really does sucks so much, and while I can't say I built up friends on Reddit, I do I sympathise with your situation.
There are so many people I used to know from my time at Uni, but years later I now only keep contact with a handful on a semi-regular basis, because they just never reach out. It's always me having to extend the olive-branch, and it gets tiring after a while of realising you're the only one holding things up.
I'm a rather home-body person myself, so I can also sympathise with not wanting to lose the friends you have for fear of being unable to make more.
I'm hopeful to talk to all sorts of new people here, as everything does feel more personal than Reddit for the most part. Also given the size of the community I do find myself running into people I've chatted with before to gain more insight from. In fact, I vaguely recognise your avatar, so we might've even spoken before too haha
KBin is fairly intuitive as well, in spite of it's lack of some quality of life improvements they need to implement. I am using it pretty active now on it.
I can't speak to old-school Reddit because I joined fairly late to the party (2018-ish), but this does feel a lot like the old-school forums I used to frequent.
I'm glad you've already had the chance to integrate with folks around here, and I'm sure you'll have plenty a chance to carve out a niche to hang out in.
Yeah, I think a lot of people feel that way. I certainly do - the blackouts and moving to Kbin gave me a chance to reflect on how I used Reddit, the habits I fell into, and to make what I think are healthier choices about them. For one, less doom-scrolling, and more attempting to interact more meaningfully with threads.
I had a really bad back injury a couple years ago and still can't be out of bed for more than an hour a day. It sucks hard and you have my sympathy.
You should reach out to your friends if you haven't. It's possible they're also lamenting that no one has reached out to them!
When the convenience melts away you find out who your friends really are, and most of the time our friends are friends of convenience. Feel free to message me if you ever want to talk, I think we all have this strange disruption of our life and routines from all the reddit goings on. It's hard on people, as pathetic as that sounds, it's true.
I feel you with this. Covid has made me completely bed bound and social media of one kind or another has been my only socializing for 3 years. Though Reddit isn't one of the main ones for me, it does pain me to see some areas of assistance has gone away.