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Explained it the best. I hate what he did. I hate what a lot of people do. But I’m always sad to lose someone who had a chance to change.
It’s what the internet is worst at, forgiving. This person said awful things and did awful things, but if he hadn’t taken his life and had instead worked through this, I honestly believe that he would be someone alive and worth forgiving.
This doesn’t ever excuse the damage people do. I think that’s what people forget. You can forgive people without excusing their harm. But it’s always important that those who seek forgiveness both receive it AND receive it as they work to undo the harm if possible. Sometimes that won’t be possible.
Exactly. The harm is done regardless. I want us to be the side of “I changed for the better”. We shouldn’t immediately trust people or forgive them of course, that “unconditional forgiveness and trust so long as you repent and are on our side” bullshit is part of how Christians keep winding up with a bunch of pedos. But I do believe in restorative justice. Sometimes people become good after doing many bad things.
I want people to be better, so I think we need to stop punishing them for trying to be better. I’ll take former republicans, I’ll take reformed bigots, I’ll take assholes trying to be better, so long as all of them are actually striving to improve. And sometimes those people need to not be in a room so people can get a break from their not being quite there yet or because of the harm they did in the past, but that’s ok, the goal is to get them there.