this post was submitted on 29 Oct 2023
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My situation has changed over the months, and the stint in which my partner was home while I was working was short, so this is based a bit on that and a bit on the following re-calibrations.
We try to divide tasks according to what we like doing. My husband likes doing the bath, while I like going out of the house with the kid. This means that those times are win-win: one parent is doing a fun task and the other is having some chill me-time. So we try to get as many of those tasks in as we can manage.
When he was home, I’d take my work commute to decompress and as soon as I was home I was in charge for at least an hour. Often, I’d be setting up a bath for the little one and my husband to enjoy. After the little one’s bath, my husband would take his own bath to chill. He would usually be responsible for dinner, but because he likes cooking and I could spend some time with the kid. After the kid was in bed, it was date time for an hour or so.
He’d have the late nights wake ups because I needed my sleep. I’d have the early morning wake ups, that were more rare.
It took a lot of communication to figure out a good balance that worked for everyone and that made us feel fulfilled. The second part became soon very important, we didn’t want to feel like all we did was changing diapers and cleaning up puke, so we needed to find things we could look forward to. Now that the kid is a bit older, it’s just fun to play with him.