Teetotal

One beer doesn't do shit for me. I'd have to drink 4 or 5...(because it takes 45min+ for alcohol to do it's thing) and that doesn't always happen. So it's not for the effect at those times, in fact, often I don't want the effect because it will happen after I leave (say a lunch meeting), but I want a beer to wash down what I've had.

Sometimes I just want a nice cold brew on a hot day after working hard. It can satisfy in ways that other drinks can't, not even my favorite gin and tonic or Tom Collins.

You sound like you've never had the incredible experience of the perfect drink pairing with a meal.

The French would like a word with you, they've mastered the "which wine with this dish", and beer can work the same way. I've been to beer pairings that equal wine pairings...and I'm not a big beer drinker.