this post was submitted on 03 Oct 2023
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even if I am 20 bones wont change?
I’ve heard some unsubstantiated claims that hips can widen a tiny bit at that age. It’s not worth measuring though. You will pass
I hope I will pass, and Id hope they can grow some amount. That would make me look more fem as shoulders wouldnt look as wide then
Focusing on those details will drive you to insanity. Be patient with yourself. You will be okay. This process just takes time.
I transitioned when I was 23. Now I’m 27. I never get misgendered. HRT is magic, and your dress, makeup, and behavior dictate your passing more than your body shape. Trust me on this.
I mean I already pass sometimes, and I still have facial hair. But I full transitioned socialy, so the clothes and behavior plus confidence may be helping. However I am still selfconcious :c
It takes time to get over those feelings. I find it helps to remember that most people are very self-centered and in their own little world. They'll take anything they can get to confirm whatever they assumed about your gender. Let's say you're androgynous but wearing a skirt and have long hair. They'll see someone with a skirt and long hair from behind. You turn around, and your face is feminine and maybe wearing makeup. OK, there's some confirmation, definitely a woman. Then you open your mouth to speak. Your voice training has been going great and you sound lovely. Even more confirmation. They're not looking at your shoulders. They will actively ignore any peach fuzz or facial hair, because that can happen to cis women. They'll even ignore narrow hips and small underdeveloped boobs. Because they already got confirmation of your gender, they don't want to spend any more effort thinking about it, and will move on as fast as they can.
I am not sure about that, especialy that I am a long way from getting fem voice and no they do not ignore facial hair, like 90% dont, and when I try to present fem they still call me mister when they see or hear me
You’ll figure it out. Good luck!
I hope so. But now my feelings are quite grim
I can tell. Don’t let it make you do anything you’ll regret. Time is all you need.
what do you mean by that?
I mean, I remember when I felt exactly the way you're feeling right now, and that it absolutely gets better. You will figure everything out for yourself and you're gonna feel great. Just please.. keep on keeping on. Don't do any self-harm type things if you can avoid it. Rely on your support network. Remember that you're super fucking strong and amazing too! It's not easy being trans, and you're out here being brave as hell. People often say that but they don't really understand the weight. I do. I think you are gonna be just fine long-term.
right now I am coping with my depresive states by weed and alcohol, but friends are getting worried about that
Practice moderation. The alcohol makes your body suffer and that can possibly actually slow down your HRT.
but its the only thing that brings me ease
That's substance abuse, and a serious concern for your health. Practice harm reduction as much as possible, particularly with the alcohol.
Idk how really
For alcohol: drink fewer than 3 drinks per day, always give your body 2-3 days without alcohol to recover, and drink a glass of water for every drink.
1 drink is equal to:
Drink no more than 3 of these units per day and make sure you take 3 days off per week so your body can heal. Drink lots of water.
For cannabis:
You will, don't worry. I started at 36 and feel like I pass for everything except my voice.
I hope so