tl;dr I need to make a programming portfolio but I'm struggling with justifying it to my brain
Hey, so... there's a thing that's been bothering me for a long time. I've never been able to "fit in" at most jobs. I don't really have "a thing I'd enjoy working in" which, in my case, is a problem because I just can't give up more than a half of my time to something I don't care about, it really messes with my brain and I can't stay in that situation for long.
Programming caught my attention because it relies on stuff I'm quite good at. Solving problems, some creativity, more detailed work too. I have a few online courses done so I'm not totally clueless etc. I have an idea of how searching for a job looks now and other basics.
Now, for the main course: I'm trying so hard to find a field to stay in but for some reason it's weirdly difficult. I think it's because I'm not sure what this or that position really looks in day to day life. I was interested in C# and backend the most but I'm not sure anymore. Is it only working on web pages all day long? I can see it's usually commerce and I don't like that too much. I'm open to other languages too, that's not a problem.
On top of that everyone says "do a portfolio" and they're right because that's probably the only way to showcase the skills a person has but that's where things start to get tricky. My mind just refuses to do a project for the sake of doing it, straight up "nope" and it just doesn't want to cooperate. I tried to look into open source projects to help someone else but they're too advanced, I'm in that weird void between courses and real life applications. I tried to ask people in beginner groups if they'd like to make something together but no one answered, nobody I know needs an app for anything too so it's no use.
I think it's more neurodivergency related thing than strictly tech. Trouble with decision making, motivation, many people don't understand that.
My reasoning behind all this is that if I find a project that's needed by other people, I'd be able to complete it. I haven't found anyone with a similar issue yet though.
@Cipher @Krzak
I'm glad it worked out for you.
I actually studied for Computer Engineering geared toward embedded electronic design... never got a role in it beyond a one year internship down the street from campus.
After I graduated, recruiters just saw "computer" in my degree and assumed that I could do anything with computers... I knew bits and pieces of C++ coding, and picked up some things fast... but as time went on... I struggled more and more with anything involving software development and knew that it wasn't for me. I tried taking online courses to get back into roles related to my studies... I did well on assessments, but struggled with interviews... while also dealing with recruiters who assumed that I had always been in the role I was trying to get into... the last time I ever entertained anything within tech was past year when I received the news that I was only qualified for an internship which I would have to compete with students while I have been out of school for 14 years... I realized that I needed to change my career path.
I have admitted on many occasions that I prefer to be hands-on with my work... but last year I also admitted that I like working with my hands and not data. I stumbled into a hobby that I might consider for work... some people think that I should even sell such items... I am willing to give it a try when I am both comfortable enough with my skills and am in a position to actually do it.