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this post was submitted on 07 Sep 2023
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I've noticed that a lot of men don't know what "natural" even looks like.
They'll see a woman with foundation, concealer, highlighter, setting, and mascara on and be like "Wow natural beauty. No makeup."
A lot goes into makeup that isn't just lipstick & eyeliner.
The real takeaway is that whoever says something like that just doesn't want to be able to see that makeup was applied, not that none was used. Most likely not even knowing that themselves because of their ignorance.
Why the fuck would a woman have to mask herself with makeup, and men not? Is it acceptable for men to not look "perfect", and for women not? This is complete bullshit. Luckily, my wife doesn't wear any makeup, and has thus much healthier skin than all the other people who wear makeup, and she is beautiful just like that.
It's nice to look good. The only reason men don't wear makeup is because it's not socially acceptable. However, lifting weights is the most common "beauty adjustment" for men and while it has other benefits than looking better, that's most of the reason most men do it.
Some beauty standards are cultural, but some are also simply biological, something everyone responds to. Clear skin for example, which makeup provides, is one such example of a natural attractiveness symbol, which is why it's so universal across almost all cultures.
How much and in which ways one wants to make themselves look better is something everyone needs to figure out for themselves. But wanting to and acting on it is not bad in itself, so I wouldn't shame anyone for putting on makeup, same as I wouldn't for someone not using it.
Consider that there are other perfectly valid reasons men may not choose to wear makeup, such as not wanting to apply artificial / chemical-laden cosmetological garbage to our natural skin. Many women make this same choice, and they are all incredibly beautiful regardless.
True beauty goes far beyond these vain and superficial layers.
Just because someone chooses to wear makeup doesn't mean that they're vain and superficial.
Agreed!
adj. (anatomy, relational, often with to) Closer to the surface of the body; especially, situated or occurring on the skin or immediately beneath it.
adj. – Concerned with or comprehending only what is apparent or obvious; shallow.
There is more than one definition for the word.
Context clues in the original comment ("superficial" used in conjunction with the word "vain") gives way to this particular definition.
I hate this sentiment. Can't we stay with the truth? Some people are not visually beautiful, and that's completely fine. I myself don't look beautiful. I like being able to handle that fact much more than lying to myself. I'm feeling much better since I accepted the fact that I'm not beautiful than when I tried to mislead myself but got proven wrong all the time.
I don't think that person meant strictly physically. But even if not, some people still have shit personalities.
Yeah I understood that, but it's about doing useful comparisons. If I want to hang a picture in my room, I don't really care if it has been painted with ecologically friendly colors, I mean I do of course, but if it doesn't look good, then it's not going onto my wall. The eco-friendliness of the colors maybe changes my choice from a selection of good-looking pictures.
It's kind of the same with erotic/romantic attraction. Yeah, someone beautiful in another area might be chosen over someone that's not visually beautiful, but everyone has got a kind of "minimum" visual attraction that they won't/can't go below and still be attracted to somebody. We are very visual creatures. Our looks are important.
Not ultimately important of course. Understanding that some avenues are closed not because of your own fault, but because you just got bad luck in the genetic lottery is imo much easier to handle than thinking "yeah I'm just as competitive in this romantic/sexual field as anybody else" when you then get continually proven that no, you're not, that other person that looks better than you got chosen over you. Because then you get into the real self worth problems, if you'd think that visuals did not matter, then obviously you're not being chosen because you're not beautiful anywhere else either. If it's "just" visuals, that can be worked around and much easier swallowed.
It's funny you say that. I work with a dude that wears light makeup.. and he's also built like a brick shithouse. I'm not exaggerating when I say each of his thighs is as big around as my waist. Absolutely no one is going to say a negative word to him about his makeup lol
Also because we ain't got time for that.
I'd argue the time men spend on the gym that they won't if they wouldn't want to impress women is roughly equivalent to putting on a little make-up.
I don't go to the gym either.
Yeah, you don't, but you have used the collective "we" in your comment, as in "we men", since that is the topic we're conversing about. And if you think of "men in general" there are quite a lot that do fitness in some form to impress women (or other men). If you had used "I" from the beginning, I wouldn't have said anything ;)
👍
It's bad enough that you are propagating such ideas, instead of normalizing and making it acceptable for women to live without makeup.
Propagating which ideas? That clear skin is an almost universal attractiveness symbol? I don't need to propagate that, it has been proven by countless studies. And didn't I just say that I wouldn't shame anyone for not wearing makeup? Wtf.
It’s already broadly acceptable for women to live without makeup.
The issue I see is men who judge women for their choice to use makeup. They are entitled to wear it or not, whichever makes them feel good about themselves.
The women who choose to wear makeup are the victims here, not of men who judge them but of the companies and society which impose those beauty standards upon them. That's why I'm saying that we should eliminate such thoughts and make all women feel comfortable even without makeup. I don't have to tell you the benefits of that.
Or, ya know, you can stop judging women for doing something they enjoy and mind your own business.
Just because someone wears makeup doesn’t mean they do it because they feel obligated to do so. Often they just enjoy it. Who are you to tell them what they should and shouldn’t enjoy in life?
I know for sure whether my partner has put anything like that on, given that I would see it happen. Still much prefer natural without anything at all. I guess that might include the skincare routine (washing, moisturizing) and taking care of their own health, but I think that's a separate thing.
Skincare ≠ makeup, so you're correct in that they are very much separate things.
I got asked a few times if I am wearing makeup besides the obvious lipstick and mascara. All by women though. I take it as a compliment that I am able to get a good "natural" look, but it is not just men.
Lovely skin? That's a compliment.
Fantastic no-makeup look? That's a compliment.
Either way, women who wear makeup are more prone to be curious about a look, because they know that both options are quite the achievement.
Yes, it would be nice either way. Absolutely!
I am wearing makeup every time I go outside though and I take it as a compliment. :)
Maybe modest is a better word