this post was submitted on 06 Sep 2023
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So I got a lot of upvotes for my request for you all to help the many organisations ready willing and able to accept your support. But no comments. Someone has downvoted a lot of comments, like gone through my profile clicking. I mean it's very petty but this is the crap we endure and it's often after tv programs like the one which aired the other night. I won't reference it but my family members watched and it was a bit of a witch hunt. Now I have to waste time I should be chilling out in writing about it, challenging the garbage with family.
Racism gets squashed and called out for very good reason, but transphobes are allowed "an opinion" and people do not much to help. Getting my pronouns right will not help my friend obtain full time work. Being an "ally" means fighting alongside us in my opinion. The organisations will have much more measured dialogue, but I don't represent any of them. I volunteer with one of them, but I'm not allowed to speak on their behalf and am not bound by the same codes of ethics their paid staff are. I can't change this thing about myself any more than someone can change their heritage. Would you call someone out for saying disparaging things about a Yinnar man with very pale skin like one of my friends?
It's a serious issue world wide and people calling themselves "allies" just comes across as them feeling sorry for us a lot of the time. People still think we have a choice in the matter but the reality is you either allow yourself the incredible personal honesty required in the face of discrimination or you slowly die. 37% of young transgender people have attempted suicide, that's just the young ones who have been surveyed. but many many of us spend years thinking about it before diagnosis. Ask me how I know?
So, no one commented on my post about helping my community. I think I gave very clear options. Is everyone just going to sit on their hands? Plenty of upvotes but you see why I say people are all talk. I give people options to make a real difference and it's crickets.
I'm not angry or disappointed and this is not attacking anyone, we all have capacities and I don't expect people to drop everything to help. I wish I didn't need to have to explain all this stuff, but I feel obligated to. And just so you're aware, I was a volunteer being realising I was trans. I recognised something needed to be done and stepped up. I'm done, I have to go to work. Thx for reading... especially my downvoter, wasting your time is a privilege.
I get you're angry and frightened - and with good bloody reason - but that post didn't invite commentary. Anyone who signed up new for those org would have done so off lemmy. Anyone who already works with them wouldn't have commented about it - that's rather ironically virtue signalling. There was literally nothing that required further discussion.
You're complaining about a lack of visibility that wasn't called for.
I'm not frightened, I refuse to live in fear of bigots. I don't agree with what you've written. I have a right to vent here too. If you were targeted you too would ne left feeling alienated if you felt no one could bother to respond. And almost no one has.
Venting's fine, we all do it, but it's like there's a huge chunk of the conversation you're having that's missing to the DT.
Ok what most peeps on the thread see:
Cunt keeps gunning for your arse.
Nath trying to work out who they are and deal with them
That's one thing.
Then
You post some good trans resources / ways to help the comm for anyone interested in supporting peeps after a shitty fucking hit piece by MSM. Awesomesauce
You..yelling at no one responding to a post that didn't call for response and had meaningful action leading out and away from the discussion thread entirely? wait, what?
Leave it out will ya? ffs. everyone is a freaking expert. caio everyone and have a nice life. getting annoyed with the bullying now. I'll journal somewhere else.
ok no.
You're obviously going through some shit but we are not your punching bags and our refusal to be such is not bullying.
I'm the happiest I've ever been thanks.
I vaguely remember you said you sometimes feel and act like a teenage girl. Would you like us to see you as a teenage girl, or a woman in her (iirc) 50s? That will make a difference in our responses and expectations. In other words, should we always take your words seriously or should we expect that sometimes you will lash out a bit because of, understandably, hormonal fluctuations? I think setting expectations will be helpful for everyone here.
Thanks for asking and being considerate, but I'm off. So there's no real need to be more specific here, but this isn't too different to how I'd have responded to similar exchanges well before my transition. The transphobe won in the end, they can stop reading about the most wonderful journey I'm having. I hope they find a resolution to their bitterness. I thank YOU, Bacon for all of your breakfasts and more so for reaching out earlier in the year when reddit went cold. It's not personal, I just leave places when I stop enjoying them and I've stopped enjoying this place.
Also, I do understand that I'm probably in the wrong today, I'm happy to admit that emotional outbursts are not commonplace here and the mood is generally pretty light. So apologies to anyone who took offense. It's difficult being marginalised and that didn't begin with being trans, I've been teased for one reason or another most of my life. Too smart, ginger, alternative, queer, small, outspoken, activist and now trans. I'm kind of used to it, it's made me resilient and to know when enough is enough also. I'll miss some of the people and wish everyone the best honestly and I hope I haven't discouraged anyone from being good to my community. I am an active member of a group who only want good outcomes for us all and my volunteer work has had tangible results today. I'm not upset or annoyed, but there are descrepencies in the way bigotry is dealt with online. It's definitely very less of an issue on this forum.
So long, and thanks for the all the fish.
Ah well, I hope you’ll find happiness wherever you go.