Mental Health
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(CW: SUICIDE) I attempted suicide in 2017 around this time of year. I thought, after surviving, that I would turn things around. That things would get better. Instead they got worse. I'm not suicidal now, but I am more of a mess than ever. My anxiety skyrocketed since. I became much more reserved. I barely recognize myself some days. Metaphorically. I still have my good looks, lmao. Unironically grateful for that, even if no one ever sees me.
In the past few years, I went from independence and living in the same town as my friends, back to living with family in a hometown that I don't want to be in, which has cratered what little pride I had.
But what I miss most of all is being able to take long walks to clear my head. I miss walking without pain. I miss sitting without pain. I miss being awake without pain.
Chronic pain is an absolute bitch to deal with. Sorry you're going through that.