this post was submitted on 02 Sep 2023
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Privacy

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This question is especially for those who have used or are using online dating to meet new people, form relationships, hook up, etc. How do y’all balance the (online) dating scene with your own level of concern regarding privacy/security?

For example, some of these concerns may be that many dating apps are owned by a few companies, dating apps sometimes require linking to sensitive information (real phone number, google accounts, pictures, …), or that they can have vary intrusive trackers, etc

What are the steps you have made to address these concerns, if you have them? Or what are the compromises you have made? How successful are these attempts?

Let me start sharing first (in broad-stroke) about my personal experience. I’m mostly concerned with how my data are handled, transferred between, and used by different services. My concerns usually make using these apps much harder, sometimes even impossible, for example I’m hesitant to share my real phone number to sign up, and I’d prefer to limit my gmail use when possible. But that has also limited my opportunity to meet people online. Though honestly, such interactions have not been meaningful.

I’ve stopped for a while now but thinking of getting back. Just want some perspective on whether it’s worth it, and how I should orient myself with the tradeoffs.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I have adhd if that helps

But yes, your chances of meeting someone otherwise are not necessarily more in quantity, but more likely to succeed than being one of hundreds of dudes swiping on a woman. Regardless of if you are autistic

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I mean... I've gone on 1 date using dating apps. I've gone on 0 using conventional methods of meeting people. (yes I've only been on one date in my life. I'm 28. Fuck me right?). Sounds like my autistic ass has slightly higher chance of not dying alone if I stick to the technological approach.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

I mean, you do you of course, but in my opinion online you’re just that, someone struggling to connect by conventional means. Offline so to say you could still have your other attributes going for you, maybe you meet someone while you’re enjoying a hobby or activity and you could bond over that. Granted I have only had a handful of relationships myself as well (am mid thirties), but they all lasted between two and five years, so I would say they were reasonably successful. And I met all of them conventionally: while doing an apprenticeship, at university, going to the same gym at the same time for some weeks, and the classic friend‘s friend.

And I would hardly call myself smooth, it is just helpful to have more time to make a positive impression than a bored two second glance at someone’s phone before swiping.