Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
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- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
- Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
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Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
- Gender Spectrum // Resources for youth, parents and family, educators, mental health professionals and faith leaders.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
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Yeah the US Kmart isn't a thing anymore. That totally makes sense that other people may not notice, but I guess my fear is that someone will blatantly ask "are you wearing women's pants?" and I'll have an obvious embarrassed reaction. I just want to be invisible. But how tf do you invisibly transfer?
You don't transition invisibly unfortunately. What you can do though is do it at your own pace, one step at a time, only taking the next step when you're ready.
You head this off by doing what I said above. One step at a time until you're ready for the next step :)
Wear something that you don't think will trigger that reaction in people. And when you get comfortable with how people react and what they say, you can change what you do, and maybe take another step.
That obviously makes sense, that it can't be invisible. Doesn't mean my autistic ass wants to understand 😕
One of my problems is having realistic expectations of what is noticeable or not. (probably autism again) I definitely overthink things.
I have secret polished toes, and while it's not quite the shade I want, I still do love it!
That's when you pull the "why does my ass look big in these jeans" troupe haha...
Sorry, I'm joking but only kinda. At some point you'll get both compliments and accusations about the clothes you wear. Just try and enjoy the former and brush off the later. I do attempt to use humor a lot to deflect. It has the added effect of getting under bigots skin too. Got to choose your battles either way.
That's a great one! I'm usually fairly decent at coming up with stuff like that... 2 hours later 😂
Thanks for the funny/difficult truth advice.
I've taken to just thanking them as well. Like overly flattered "thank you so much for noticing hun" kind of thing. It makes me laugh and often sets the mood of the interaction to a positive. Sometimes people are just not aware of how they sound but then once you reply bubbly they often react with a smile. I do live in a rather accepting area though so, grain of salt and all that.
That is a nice way of looking at it. I'm in an accepting enough area, but the state is not, so there is a good mix of those who couldn't care less, and those that think you shouldn't exist.