this post was submitted on 08 Jun 2023
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I also host my own mail and there's been little issues.
Microsoft is a pain in the ass if you're in an IP space they don't like like DigitalOcean. Which is ironic because they have the worst spam filter by far in the industry.
If you want to get through to everyone you will have to:
I can't recommend mailcow enough, it makes setting up a mail server a breeze.
https://github.com/mailcow/mailcow-dockerized
Use the MXToolbox to verify your server(s).
https://mxtoolbox.com/diagnostic.aspx
It really is not hard, especially if you actually do it right (all of those bulletpoints of yours).