this post was submitted on 06 Aug 2023
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One thing I learned, is that, most of the time, someone is only out of your league if you believe they are. I don't know you (beyond our little conversation here) or her (at all), but it sounds like you have a lot to offer. And, no, not giving her everything, but that part shows me that you're emotionally available, or, at the very least, willing to be. Although, I don't know if I would recommend dating or pursuing a coworker, as it can lead to some very unpleasant situations.
Another thing I've learned, happiness and success are not actually linked to one another. I know several well-off to bumtasticlly rich people who, I think, everyone would categorize as super successful, and they are some of the most unhappy people. I also know rich people who are happy, and poor people who are happy, and poor people who are unhappy. My point is that money and success won't make you happy.
Money makes life easier sometimes, but good friends (emphasis on the good), I think, add more happiness than a ton of money.
I think the BetterHelp thing is a wonderful place to start, even if you have to bend the truth a bit to get in. You deserve happiness.
Believe in yourself, and don't be afraid to be happy--that's one of the hardest things to do after a stint (no matter how long or short) of depression. Tell yourself every single day that you deserve to be happy and you are going to be happy today. Literally, write it on a stickynote on the mirror "I deserve to be happy, and I will be happy today" and read it out loud (even as a whisper) every morning. Maybe add a phone reminder to remind you of this fact throughout the day.
I feel like I just don't know how to impress her. Part of me says I shouldn't have to try so hard that I'm not acting like myself, and the other part of me says that I need to be an exceptional person to stand out among the other men she might meet.
I think you're right about money not equaling happiness. I never wanted to be a millionaire, i just want enough to entertain my hobbies occasionally.
As far as it being a bad idea to date a coworker- i know it's not great but I don't think she's going to work at my job for much longer. Still I'm aware the consequences of dating a coworker is immediate site reassignment and likely a pay cut. Love isn't free though.
Most women dont want to be impressed and the ones that do arent worth it. What many that are worth the time want is just to be treated like a person, respected for what they can do and bring to the table and what their strengths are. Just be yourself, and honest (well maybe not too honest) but professional. If it happens it happens, dont force it. But personally, she likely has boundaries with with work. Dudes can often have flings with co-workers but if a woman does it, its becomes a stigma and can affect their career in a big way. Its like the saying "you fuck one goat and you are a goat fucker for life". So you gotta respect that and dont shit where you eat and if you do, never tell a goddam soul but she would need to make the first pass in my book.
From experience. Hes right. See my other comment.
Also, wast this thread about Sweet Baby Rays?
Yeah this thread was about bbq sauce in general. I don't really like sweet baby rays. When i was a kid my wicked step mom made shredded chicken and drowned it in sweet baby rays bbq sauce. I had to eat a bowl full of it. It was so disgusting that it ruined the whole brand for me even 10 years later.
Yeah. that sounds terrible. ITs like A1 on a steak. Its so sweet I gotta use it very sparingly. I was just fuckin around though!