Asklemmy

Yeah, that's a hard one. On one hand, we always want to be who we think she wants us to be when we're first dating, but on the other hand, this isn't sustainable. Eventually, our true selves come out, leading to statements like "you're not the man I started dating" or whatnot and it could lead to a breakup. I'm of the belief that if someone doesn't like me for me, then she doesn't deserve to have me. That said, however, there's nothing wrong with having (safe and respectful) fun as we wait for the one.

If the job is temporary and finding another job is relatively easy, the risk is minimal. If the job isn't temporary, but it's not the career you want, the risk is higher but not high. If the job is in the field you want to career in, the risk is high. Of course, if the consequences of dating a coworker is basically termination, they (your employers) don't need to know. I think it's unethical to date your subordinate or your supervisor/manager, but I don't see anything ethically wrong with dating a coworker.

Honestly, dude. We gotta make this life count and, sometimes, that means taking calculated risks (like dating a coworker), and sometimes it means playing it safe (like not risking reassignment). You can conduct a risk analysis (be brutally honest with yourself), and decide if it's worth pursuing. I fell in love with my best friend (stupid move, I know). I sat on it as long as I could. Eventually, I was starting to see the world in unsaturated colors. I did a risk analysis on asking her out with the potential of losing my best friend. I was determined that I wouldn't allow this to completely destroy our friendship, and finally built the courage to do ask her out. She said no. And it was super awkward for a week or so. But I kept being her friend. She changed her mind to "I'll think about it". Shoot, I'll take that! A week or so later we gave it a shot. She fell in love a week after that, and we've been together since. These things can happen, but they're the exception. The thing is, even if we don't realize we're doing this, we're all looking for our One, but are all super cautious of one another, trying our best to guard our hearts. This causes rifts to grow between us, and we go from potential friends to "just coworkers". Seriously, I see this going both ways and they're both equally plausible, so I truly don't know which to recommend :( All I can say is to run the risk analysis and determine whether this is a risk you're willing to take, and I can also say that whichever you do decide, know that I support it and have got your back as best as an internet stranger can.

Part of me says I shouldn’t have to try so hard that I’m not acting like myself, and the other part of me says that I need to be an exceptional person to stand out among the other men she might meet.

Most women dont want to be impressed and the ones that do arent worth it. What many that are worth the time want is just to be treated like a person, respected for what they can do and bring to the table and what their strengths are. Just be yourself, and honest (well maybe not too honest) but professional. If it happens it happens, dont force it. But personally, she likely has boundaries with with work. Dudes can often have flings with co-workers but if a woman does it, its becomes a stigma and can affect their career in a big way. Its like the saying "you fuck one goat and you are a goat fucker for life". So you gotta respect that and dont shit where you eat and if you do, never tell a goddam soul but she would need to make the first pass in my book.

I think you’re right about money not equaling happiness. I never wanted to be a millionaire, i just want enough to entertain my hobbies occasionally.

From experience. Hes right. See my other comment.

Also, wast this thread about Sweet Baby Rays?